Gluten-Free Humble Cake

          As my new friend drove up to our house for our first playdate,  I was tempted to throw the crumbly failure into the compost bucket and let the chickens enjoy it. What started as a simple attempt to do something kind for a friend that suspected gluten sensitivities threatened to turn into a humiliating moment for me. I am not a master chef or anything,  but I consider myself a decent baker (let's not talk about the time I made the healthiest pumpkin pie ever--I forgot the sugar). I LOVE baking! Just take one look at my flourless chocolate cake, and you can see it was a flop. My nursing-room buddy from church was coming over to our house and had let me know that her daughter was celebrating a birthday. She also shared that they were looking at going gluten-free because of some health issues with her kids. 

           I thought this would be the perfect chance to try a recipe for "Flourless Chocolate Cake". She told me not to go to any trouble; but since Mr. Blue Eyes woke up when it was time to run that morning, I decided to try.  The recipe called for a spring-form pan, but I don't have one. I was inspired in the middle of the night to use my flan pans, and I decided it would be perfect! Surely, it was God who brought this to mind, so I could make the perfect cake to go along with the perfect friendship. I could fill the little well on top with freshly whipped cream and maybe use a cherry or strawberry for garnish. As I scraped the cake out of the cooled flan pan, I remembered something about parchment paper...apparantly it was more important than I remembered. 

          Little Carrie let out an empathetic "Aww!" when she saw how disappointed I was. Then, I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and did something I never do...I tasted my flopped cake attempt. My mom is forever telling me not to worry about what something looks like. She says, "If it tastes good, who cares?" Well, things like my pride do. I tasted a crumb and then another. It tasted really good. Even Carrie and Grace were asking for more. I decided to serve it despite the appearances. 

           I am forever struggling with remembering that my worth is not defined by my performance or my appearnce,  but only by what God thinks of me. If I learned anything from Jill Savage's book "No More Perfect Moms", it was that being real and flawed was the way to a more authentic and happy existence.  It paves the way for others to relax and let go of their "perfection infection" as Jill puts it. (Did you know she is coming out with a new book called "No More Perfect Kids" co-authored by Kathy Koch? Guess who's on the launch team, reading a sneak preview right now??) I'd thought of the book a lot and it's advice on choosing to take the first step towards other moms and being a "there you are person" instead of waiting for someone else to make the first step. Last week, I copied and put all my favorite gluten-free recipes in a binder for my new friend. I've had dear friends in the past who've changed their lifestyles for allergies and sensitivities,  and I've seen how overwhelming it can be to get started. I thought this could help my new friend, but maybe I'd look a little over eager for friendship. I took a chance at looking dumb, and she said she really liked it. She asked Mary if she knew "How cool your mom is?" Thankfully, Mary just smiled instead of contradicting her.

           We had an awesome playdate. Everyone really liked the cake, including the birthday girl (who talked her reluctant little sister into trying some). Click here for the recipe in case you want to try it (and own a spring-form pan). I thought my friend would leave around eleven thirty, but instead we chatted so much that they stayed well past one. I found out that we have lots to talk about, like essential oils and homeschooling.

Maybe God had given me the idea for the flan pan...to give me a slice of humble pie (cake)...and the gift of an authentic friendship. 

What's your favorite gluten-free recipe or web-site? I'd love to pass it on to my friend!

Life in a Cozy House

          One of my goals this year is to find a "home" for all of our things. We've moved two years in a row plus had a baby, so I haven't been nearly as organized (or as clean--thus my dust bunnies post) as I would like. One of the greatest challenges of this goal is that we have downsized from our last house. I consider this a "cozy" house (my hubby, Charles, always laughs when I say that). How cozy is it? Our home is approximately 1200 square feet. Although it is smaller than our last home, we have wonderful closets with built-in organizers (plus a two car garage along with a single stall detached garage) for storing things. I was a huge fan of Tetris growing up, so this just means taking a little time to figure out what fits where. Inevitably,  some things may not make the cut and get donated; but our house is more than enough. Although it has three bedrooms (by realtor standards), all our other homes had three bedrooms as well. This house has a completely finished basement with rooms that may not have closets in them, but still fit my bill as a "bedroom"since they have two entrances (it is a walk-out basement). Usable bedroom space is better here than our last two homes. Plus with 27 acres, we can always add on when and if we choose.
           Our kitchen is nice and large, but it doesn't have a spice rack built into the cupboards like our last house. When we moved in, I organized our spices in a drawer instead of the cupboard; and I love it! I was inspired when I saw a neighbor storing her spices in a drawer (and she lives in gigantic three story home). I'm a vertically challenged person (5' 2.5"), so I was forever grabbing a stool to reach the spices behind the first row. It was so hard seeing what was in the back that it consumed a lot of my time keeping it organized (and occasionally I accidentally bought a second spice when one was tucked back too far). You might enjoy trying this as well.
          I could organize room by room (which might make the most sense), but large projects overwhelm me. I still have more than a dozen skeins of yarn from a blanket project I started ten years ago.  Ahem! I've decided to tackle what bothers me most. This past weekend, Charles helped me reorganize our bedroom,  and every time I walk in I can't help but smile. Gratification!  Now, if I could just hide all that yarn that sneers at me every time I see it--maybe it needs to make friends with my dust bunnies.
            Whether you live in a mansion or a cottage, are you enjoying where you live? If not, I challenge you to look at the key for contentment: "for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation, whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want"... (Phil 4:11b-12)
          I recently read a post on one of my favorite blogs (Colorful Musings) about organizing meals that totally inspired me to rethink my meals. Do you live in a "cozy" home? What tip can you give me to inspire me? I learn so much from you and appreciate your input!

Shooting at the Walls of Heartache

          ..."Bang! Bang!"   Do you know the next line of this song by Patty Smyth? It has to do with my word for this year. A few years ago, I started asking God for a word for the year. I hadn't really thought about it till the end of this year when our pastor brought it up.  On New Year's Day, I found myself running on our treadmill in our basement asking God for the word. Pretty quickly the word "warrior" came into my head. "Wow!" I thought. "That's way cooler than some of the other words I had in the past (the year I had "perseverance" was a very challenging one)." In my head, I started singing "Shooting at the walls of heartache...Bang! Bang! I am the warrior." The next thought that came in my head was "What an arrogant word! I can't tell anyone this!?" The truth is I am not a warrior. I have felt defeated and broken. Remember my post "Frozen". I had a harder time writing that than any post to date. I literally froze. I thought that maybe God wants to make me into a warrior this year, and that's what it meant. I usually pick a verse to go with it, so I did a search for "warrior" on Bible Gateway. All I turned up were lots of verses about God being a warrior (and others being warriors). None of them spoke of God promising to turn a person into one.  I've really felt like I'm in the battle of my life especially this fall, so I don't think God is saying "Caroline,  you are a warrior." Otherwise,  I'd already be victorious.  I believe I will be victorious but not because I'm some heroic person.  I can't do this alone.

I can't do it at all.

              I need someone to fight for me. This last week, I read Exodus 33:13 in the Amplified version; and it practically jumped off the page at me. It says, "Now therefore, I pray You, if I have found favor in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You [progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with You, perceiving and recognizing and understanding more strongly and clearly] and that I may find favor in Your sight. And [Lord, do] consider that this nation is Your people." This was a request Moses made to God, and all week long this has been my request to God. I want God to go to battle on my behalf for what I cannot do on my own.
          I looked back at the search again while I was writing this post. I didn't see half the verses the first time for some reason. I saw a couple of verses that caught my attention. I read Proverbs 16:32 and felt a twinge of guilt over my failures in the patience department. "Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city." As many people have pointed out the "fruits of the Spirit" like "self-control" are something evidenced in our life because we have the Holy Spirit living in us. What better way to request his fruit than to asking Him to guide us and show us His way? I'm not going to feel guilty about that verse, but I will memorize it to use the next time I get into a power struggle with my little tyrant. ("Think, patience, Caroline, not war!")

The verse that most testifies to what I think this year's word should mean is this verse: Zephaniah 3:17 says, "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” As I ask God for His favor this year to know Him better and in a deeper way, I can almost hear Him singing, "Shooting at the walls of heartache...Bang! Bang! I am the Warrior!"

What is your word/verse for the year? I'd love to have you leave a comment...

Basil Toes?!

           As a child, I always thought my parents were a little nutty when it came to medical issues. They always preferred natural cures over seeking a doctor's advice. Time and perspective can change a lot. Now, I'm a parent with five kids to make medical decisions for; and I've repented over and over for the labels I put on my parents. Turns out I'm a little nutty just like them. I wouldn't say I never seek medical advice. I do, but sometimes doctors don't have the answers I need.
          Half-pint was my first child to be diagnosed with "colic" at 12 weeks of age after being treated for an ear infection and acid reflux.  Her ears cleared up over night; and after several weeks, the reflux medication still did nothing to help the agony she was in. She screamed on into the wee hours of the morning.  Nothing seemed to help. She slept during the day...a LOT. I already had Mary who went to bed every night at 7pm and woke up at 7:03am on the dot. I was exhausted from staying up late with Half-pint and getting up with a fully-charged Mary. I did research, and read books on getting your baby to sleep better. I started eliminating milk from my evening meals, and it helped a little. I read that Iron in multivitamins can make some babies cranky, so I took that out. Half-pint started going to bed at 9 or 10pm, but she was still up every two hours after that. After five months of this, I didn't feel like a human being anymore...much less a good mama. Then, a friend made a suggestion that saved my sanity.  She asked, "Would you consider a chiropractor?" I had seen a chiropractor as a child but taking an infant seemed extreme. However,  I was desperate.  Long story short, a week later Half-pint was sleeping 8 hour stretches at night. A month later, she was going as long as 12 hours without waking me up. We did make the decision to take her to a chiropractor trained specifically for adjusting children, after having some reservations about our initial chiropractor. We have been very happy with the results. When child #3, 4, and 5 were born, they were also adjusted a few months after birth...as soon as they started showing signs of distress (and keeping me up at night for more than a week).
        A little nutty? Maybe, but it works. I still take my kids for well child visits to our pediatrician; and if I suspect strep throat, they still get swabbed. This past December,  we saw our pediatrician a lot. Mr. Blue Eyes, our 11 month old had his first ear infection and ended up with pneumonia after that. I learned several nurse's names at the practice by heart. Two weeks ago, Mr. Blue Eyes started showing signs of something bothering him. Maybe his ears were bothering him, maybe it was a headache from a tumble,  maybe it was more teeth coming in. I really dreaded it being his ears because I knew they'd put him on more antibiotics. After his second round of antibiotics in December (the first for an ear infection and the second for pneumonia), he had horrible diarrhea.  It was so bad that during the middle of the night he went through seven diapers in two hours. His skin was so raw that he screamed when I changed him. It was AWFUL! I'm not a fan of Desitin (the first non-active ingredient is BHA--a preservative and known carcinogen), but I was desperate for him to have some relief. Even that seemed to be no match for this evil skin-destroying condition.  My "nutty" mom was visiting and suggested using Sovereign Silver on a cotton ball as the final pat on his tushie before the diaper ointment. Crazy as it sounds silver has natural healing properties; and after the second application, he stopped screaming. I ditched the Desitin and slathered on my usual favorite ointment after the colloidal silver: Rosebud (or "Rosebutt" as Gracie calls it). Two days later he was no longer raw, despite having four days left on antibiotics.
           Needless to say, I really, really did not want to go on another round of antibiotics. (We do probiotics in between rounds of antibiotics to help replenish the good bacteria.) After a few days, I really suspected his ears more. I took him to our chiropractor for an adjustment, and she casually asked if we had any basil oil. Ok. This next part is going to seem strange, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I ended up buying some essential basil oil. My chiropractor assured me that she'd used it before both on herself and her kids for ear problems with great success. She said within a couple of hours she felt much better...and even a full blown infection would disappear after two days of using the oil. Here's what I was to do: put three drops of oil on cotton balls, stick it in his ear, and leave it there for 15 min. She recommended doing this three or four times a day. How do you keep something in an 11 month old's ears for 15 minutes? Well, you put on your baby proof winter hat over the cotton balls to hold them in place and create "the hat 'o basil". The smell is really strong-- obnoxious even! Everyone complained about it. Oddly enough, that night (a few hours later) he was jabbering away...normal baby stuff...
except that he hadn't jabbered like that in at least a week. That night he finally slept too. By the next morning,  Half-pint had seen enough to volunteer to try it too. Her ears had been popping a lot and she was having a hard time hearing because of extra fluid.   She felt a lot better. Her ears popped a lot, and then stopped. She said she could hear better as well. At this point, I wasn't feeling so "nutty" anymore. After a couple days, I stopped using it for him. No signs of infection. Interesting. My chiropractor said the basil essential oil was also good for any infection.  If her family felt sick, she said she'd just rub a couple drops on the feet at night; and in the morning, they'd be right as rain. A couple days later, Carrie said she didn't feel good. We put drops in Shea butter to dilute it a little (it's really concentrated and can cause skin irritation,  although the chiropractor said the feet usually aren't too sensitive) and smeared it all over her feet. We joked that the baby had "basil ears" for two days, so now we joked that Carrie had "basil toes". She felt better too. This past weekend,  when the baby started getting a warm forehead and cold hands and feet (nooo!!), we gave him basil toes as well. One nap and a  few hours later, he seemed back to normal.
           I wouldn't tell you all this, if it didn't work so well. I know it sounds crazy. One vial of oil costs less than one co-pay for a doctor's visit. So far we've only used maybe a tenth of a bottle. I might be a little "nutty", but this just makes scents.

What have you found that helps you and your family to stay healthy?

Books That'll Make You Smile, Not Blush

          It's winter, the perfect time to curl up with a good book. I have five children, and two of them, Mary and Half-pint, fall into the tween category. One of the challenges I'm facing as they get older is finding great books that are wholesome, but challenging to read. I don't want to limit them to enjoy reading classics but also modern books too...so I've started reading the new books. When we go to the library,  the sky's the limit. I just get first dibs on the book unless it's something I'm already familiar with (or someone I trust has recommended it). Some of you may be muttering "censorship", but I consider it good parenting when they are this age. I laughed this past weekend when my neice told me her mom checked out the books she'd be reading as a freshman, so she would know what my neice was reading. What a good mama! Honestly, I've only ever had two books in the past that haven't cut the mustard out of many, many books. One had the main character going into trances to channel spirits. (Umm...no, thanks!) Another one was full of sexual innuendos (Really? This is for "juveniles"). There are some books that are engaging and good, but the theme is more mature than I like for our tweens. ("Hunger Games" would fall into that category. Kids killing kids is just not quite the theme I want our girls wading through yet. )
          Here are two books that are beautifully written, but totally appropriate (in my opinion).  "A Princess of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs is a classic. I had never heard of the John Carter books until a year ago when our neighbor went on and on about them (I did vaguely remember a movie by Disney). He said that his boys loved them, but he thought that my girls would enjoy them as well. You may recognize another book written by the same author. Ever heard of "Tarzan"? The neat thing about these sci-fi books is that they were written at the turn of the century, but they still have extraordinary descriptions of Martian technology that seem fantastical even in 2014. After reading one chapter, my girls are begging for another. The vocabulary in the book is challenging even for me, and there's plenty of words that I have to look up...which brings me to the next awesome point. They are free on the Kindle. I don't have a Kindle, but I have a lovely app on my smartphone (I don't mind that it's small because it is so convenient to use this way). I also love that the Kindle has a built in dictionary for looking up all those strange words (just click on the title above and it will take you dirrectly to the free book). The series follows a gentleman who is mysteriously transported to Mars. It chronicles his adventures there. There is a love story in the book, but there is nothing beyond what you would see in a G-rated Disney flick. I've read the first four in the series, and there are seven more in the series. This is a really great free book to read out loud to younger ones, but my fifth grader has easily read it on her own.
       The other book that I've really enjoyed is modern tale called "Barn Boot Blues" by
Catherine Friend. It tells the humorous story of a twelve year old who is forced to move to a farm and help her parents, who are aspiring farmers. This book had me laughing so hard I cried, and totally commiserating with her difficulties with animals we have on our "farm".  I also learned a thing or two about animals we don't have. There is an overriding theme of learning to be yourself and not to change for others that I really appreciated too. 

There are more books we've enjoyed,  but I can save it for another post.  I'd rather hear if you have any recommendations for me and the girls. So how about it?

Frozen

           It was "bitterly" cold outside early in the week. The temperatures during the days (factoring in windchill) were a chilly -25ºF on Monday. Schools were closed around here. You can all give a groan for my students who carried on at home in spite of the low temps...they agreed that they'd rather be done with school sooner than take a day off. We did make a batch of snow ice cream during school. We couldn't resist trying a recipe from one of my favorite blogs.
            There's one thing you really don't want to lose in a house during a cold snap. Any guess what malfunctioned when the temperature dropped this weekend? Charles, my hubby, woke up at 2 am on Monday morning and realized he felt colder than normal. He went to the thermostat to turn it up, and that's when he saw that the furnace wasn't keeping up with the temperature programed for that time in the morning.
              A friend of mine posted a Jack London story on her Facebook page Sunday night that I read while trying to get Mr. Blue Eyes to go to sleep. Mr. London's descriptions were really tangible with all the cold we had been experiencing, and I felt like hyperventilating during most of it. Mr. Blue Eyes struggled to go to sleep till after midnight,  and I struggled not to have flashbacks about "To Build a Fire". Two hours later, the baby was up again, and my hubby was on his mission to keep us warm. He brought in a kerosene space heater that he had bought for his outbuilding a year ago (yes, for those concerned, we did leave a window partially open for venting), and soon we were blasted with some comfort. Kerosene space heaters are noisy...really noisy. Mr. Blue Eyes was terrified of it. I think he was fighting off an ear infection or suffering from a pounding headache (Gracie pulled a blanket out from under him, giving him a very hard landing on our kitchen tile and a nasty bruise under his eye..."I was just trying to get him off!"). He was miserable. Three hours later, he finally konked out. When we woke up, Charles had begun deconstructing our bedroom closet, so he could fit a ladder in there to access our furnace, which is located in the attic. Crazy right? The previous owners converted our house from baseboard heating, and their furnace guy stuck it in the attic. It wasn't long before he found a tube that drained water which was frozen solid. He called a professional to service it, but he decided to try a few things while he waited. It's moments like these that I am super grateful for a problem-solving engineer like Charles. The next thing you know, he had the blow dryer up in the attic, thawing the line. Sheer brilliance,  I tell you! He had the furnace up and running in no time, and my Jack London-inspired fears were laid to rest. There was one momentary glitch that caused a lapse in heat, but after he blew the water out of a component,  it ran beautifully the rest of the day.
           This past week has been an unexpectedly hard one for me emotionally. Our previous church always did a corporate fast for the first three weeks of the year, as a way of dedicating the year to God. I decided to carry on with the idea even though we live in a different state. Fasting for me usually equals feeling closer to God and an increased sense of hopefulness in how He will move in my life. Instead, I have felt frozen. Frozen by fear. Satan knows our weaknesses and will come at them with everything he's got. He knows my weak spot, and he's chosen this fall to target it. He's been coming after my family. I'm afraid of them being hurt by what I am helpless to prevent. Worse yet, I'm afraid God won't act on my behalf. I've watched my son go through pneumonia and ear infections. I watched my daughters go through physical illnesses and emotional distress as well.
           This past week, I read in Matthew 4 about how Jesus was tempted while He fasted for 40 days in the wilderness.  I guess fasting doesn't always guarantee feeling good, huh? If you remember the story of Jesus being tempted, you'll remember how He was victorious: with scripture. 1John 4:4 says, "You, dear children, are from God and have OVERCOME them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." We are capable of winning our battles because of the Holy Spirit within us. I'm notifying Satan, right now, that I will not accept his temptation to doubt God's power. God's timing may be different than mine, but He will be victorious in doing something in my family that's better than I can imagine.(Rom. 8:28) I am believing by faith that He will reward me for earnestly seeking Him (Hebrews 11:6). and trusting that He loves my family even more than I possibly could. "At all times, I will bless the Lord. His praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Ps 34:1) These are just a few verses that are warming up with. It time to thaw out and function fully again.

           Tonight, our church handed out prayer cards with topics to pray over for our city. One of the verses struck me as very fitting to this situation: "Arise, cry out in the night as the watches of the night begin;pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..."(Lam. 2:9)

What verses are you using in your battle?  I'd love to add some to my arsenal as well...