Waiting to Pounce

         Our chickens love it when we leave them outside for a little free-ranging time. We let them run around a couple of times a day when we move them in between the coop in the barn and their outside fenced enclosure.  The compost pile is their favorite place to forage for scraps of food. Oreo, our cat, loves to watch them. She sits with her ears perked up and her long tail twitching, just waiting for the right moment. She waits until one chicken is left all by itself, and then she occasionally charges. I think she's dreaming of a fresh chicken dinner.

    Last week, I had my trouble sleeping for the first time in a long time. Three days in a row, I found myself awake at tr four in the morning after nursing our baby with a tight, panicky feeling in my chest. I began thinking about how I will get all five kids to sleep quietly in two bedrooms. I began thinking about smaller living quarters and wondered if all of the things we have will fit. I'm using nice words like "wondered" and "began thinking" but "worried" and "panicked" are closer to the truth. By Friday, I was exhausted. While I ran, I asked God what was up with all of these feeling. He reminded me that Satan lies in wait looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). He brought to memory what He'd done in the past two years of my life...all that He'd provided. He hasn't gotten any smaller. He's just as capable as He ever has been. I was limiting Him with how I was thinking about the situation. Just because He hasn't answered my prayers the way I've prayed them lately doesn't mean He hasn't heard them. It means He has something better planned than I could even conceive of. It means that He is in control, and I am not.

          I think a lot of my restlessness was a deliberate attack by Satan. He was sitting there like Oreo, waiting to pounce. He was feeding me negative thoughts as fast as I could swallow them, fattening me up for the kill. He sat there and watched, waiting for the perfect moment when I'd be alone. The middle of the night can definitely be a lonely time. What he didn't know is that I'd be sharing my concerns with my Owner, that I'd believe His positive thoughts,  and I'd bring a few hens back with me. As soon as I talked to God, I started to feel a lot better. I asked Him to take control of my thoughts, and fill me with His Holy Spirit.  I also told Satan where He could go to. Friday went so much better after that. My burden was lifted...I was no longer carrying it.

          I have seen Oreo go after one chicken when it is alone; the chicken shows extraordinary flight skills for a couple of seconds and escapes to her group of hens.  However, when there are several chickens together, they rule the yard; and the cat just watches. It may appear that they are oblivious to the lurking would-be predator; but actually, they have fun of their own, charging the cat together at the opportune moment. Will you be my hens to support me in prayer and help me get Satan on the run. This coming week is going to be a busy one. We are scheduled to move to our new home on September 6, in a little over a week. I'd be happy to join you as well. Just leave what I can pray for you for in the comments below...or e-mail me or shoot me a text.

Tortilla Chips and Butter

          There is something about food that just makes me feel warm and fuzzy. With all the changes going on around our house, eating good food has helped to preserve some normalcy. My mom has a sensitivity to any sweeteners except for honey, so almost all of the food I ate growing up was made from scratch. To this day, nothing tops a peice of her fresh homemade oatmeal bread with a little honey drizzled on it. I have her recipe,  and she says my bread tastes just like her's...but there is no comparison in my mind. Maybe it's the shape. She uses old fashioned round lard tins to bake her bread in. I have the square pans. It's probably also the love that she kneads into every loaf. Instead of thinking about how much I love my family, I find kneading good for taking out my frustrations.
           Can I be honest and say that sometimes the thought of taking five kids grocery shopping is enough to make me want to stay home and make do with the food I have? On one such night, I found the lovely combination listed in the title of this post. Well, what are you going to do without salsa? You should try it. Your arteries will not thank me, but it sure tastes good to me. Want another true confession? Some days when I run out of normal sweets like cookies or ice cream, I drink a tablespoon of maple syrup. I think I might be part elf (since according to the movie "Elf" they have four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup). I stumbled upon this weirdness when the girls were taking some ibuprofen for strep throat this spring. I decided to take a dose of "medicine" too.The reality is that maple syrup also feels like home. Remember how I said that we didn't have a lot of sweets growing up? Well, at least once a year, we'd take a trip to a place that made fresh cheese. While we were there, my dad would let us have some candy made from maple syrup. In the course of our mainly sugar-free diet, that was one of the highlights of my year. Of course, the sugar rush that I had the entire hour ride home wasn't exactly compatible with sitting still. I think I bounced most of the way home.
            One of the most frustrating things for me lately has been when someone shares a recipe or seems to rate it before actually preparing it. I tried a recipe for crock-pot beans that had me singing the  baked bean blues. After following the recipe for 8 hours, I had nothing but a pile of mush to show for it. I wanted to scream at the idiots who rated the recipe five stars. (I guess I should've read the rating first because almost all of them talked about altering the recipe.) This has brought me to the conclusion that you need to consider the source before investing time and money into the food. You know who I trust?  Martha Stewart.  Her recipes are amazing. I hardly ever have them flop, and she uses really simple ingredients (not a bunch of processed junk),  which means my sugar-challenged mom can usually eat the meals when she visits. Other than that I pretty much stick with asking friends for their recipes when I have eaten something they made that I like.
          I love food (and butter and maple syrup); but if I relied on that to do all my comforting, I would weigh three hundred pounds and waddle everywhere. This past week's negotiations have been a bit stressful.  We're going through repair negotiations,  and the reality that we are moving to a new location without as much room (in terms of the home, not land) has been challenging.  God is not silent though.  In the midst of all this, this is what I read this week out of 2 Corinthians 5. Verses 6-8 in the Message translation says, "That’s why we live with such good cheer. You won’t see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don’t get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming." I felt like God was speaking right to me, telling me that this is all just temporary here anyhow.
          If your going through a rough time and feel tempted to pick up the butter (or maple syrup), try picking up your Bible and reading some truth. Ask God what He thinks about your situation. Let it fill you up, and give you the warm fuzzies.

What have you read that's encouraged you? What recipe sites do you trust? What is your favorite comfort food? I love reading your comments and getting to know you better (as well as learning from you)! If you recommend a recipe as five stars though, I expect it to that good.

Amo, Amas, Amat

           School began in our house this past Monday; and if you couldn't tell by the title of this post, our new coursework includes...Latin! I'm so excited to learn this along with my two oldest. I got a small dose of Latin when I studied medical terminology in college and I really loved learning it. I feel so smart understanding large medical words like hysteroslapingo-oophorectomy. Now we are learning fun phrases to use in everyday conversations like "Que me amat, amet et canem meum." (This means "Love me, love my dog"... we'll try this on our new neighbors.)
          I have two years of homeschooling under my belt, but we are adding a few new things into the mix for this year. First off, this is my first year teaching kindergarten.  I love my five year old's enthusiasm (and that color by number is educational for her...my older two enjoy calc-u-color) She runs to get up and make her bed in the morning. She has been waiting so long for school.This is also my first year repeating any material.  (It's a bit comforting to know what's coming up in third grade math).
              We are also planning on moving which makes a big impact on the rules concerning homeschooling. Although my hubby's job is in Kansas, it's located close enough to the border that we are actually looking at living in Missouri. Missouri's laws include a mandatory number of hours, and that you maintain documentation of it. You must complete 600 hours in the core subjects (400 must be at your primary residence), with a whopping 1,000 hours total. In Illinios, you are required to teach your children the equivalent of what they'd learn in public school, but they don't tell you how to do it. The new rules for our new state have left me with some questions: Since my kindergartener isn't seven yet (and school isn't compulsory till seven years of age in Missouri), do I need to do a thousand hours of school with her or just ensure that she learns everything a kindergartener should know?  Does anyone know if Latin counts toward language arts? How do foreign languages work? Do I have to stop my clock when we have recess and lunch? If you know these answers, I'd love your help!
            I've decided that these hour stipulations are going to give me more excuses to be creative in how I conduct school. We are doing more projects and other enrichment activities for history. Today the girls played a game of "Steal the Spanish Treasure" (think scaled-down game of risk meets checkers) after reading about the Spanish conquistadors and their mining of gold from South America. I'm also counting the time I read out loud "Little House in the Big Woods" to everyone,  and "A Princess of Mars" to the older two (some of Edward Rice Burroughs word send me to the dictionary).  I can't wait to try out some awesome field trips in our new location as well.
          My girls gave a little groan when they realized we were starting school a little earlier this year, but after the first day they all had grins on their faces. Even my nature loving girl decided her "Easy Grammar" was actually easy. It's going to be a great year not to merely scrape by, but to dig in, find new adventures, learn Latin, et cetera. (I've already learned that Latin has no soft "c" sound...so go try that last Latin word again.)

      If you have any advice about my questions, please fire away in the comments below. 

Learning Endurance

          I have great news! We now have a house that we are planning to buy. It is a lovely three bedroom ranch situated on more than 25 acres. I haven't seen it in person; but thanks to Google's "Hangouts", the girls and I were able to see it via my hubby's smartphone. We begin inspections this week; and as long as nothing major pops up, we will be moving in just a few weeks.
          The people who put their house on the market in order to buy our house sold their home last week. We begin home inspections on this end this Thursday,  so we can close on September 20th.
            The other notable news from this week is that our duck Splashes has begun laying her clutch of eggs. We are up to  six eggs. Malards typically lay one egg a day. After they lay 12-18 eggs, they begin sitting on them. If she lays 12, we should have baby ducks around September 22. (18 eggs would put us around September 28.) I'm not sure how the ducks will handle our move, but I think two ducks will be easier to move than a dozen...looks like we will just be moving eggs.
         Yesterday when I was getting all befuddled about how this is going to work out, God brought my mind back to our hike in the woods Saturday. We all went as a family for a trip through the wooded part of our property.  This was my first time hiking in our woods, and I was amazed by how beautiful and serene it was. Everyone walked except for the baby, who got to ride on my hubby's back. In the beginning, it was almost impossible to get our three year old to hold my hand, even on the steep ascent into the woods. I stood behind her ready to catch her at a moment's notice. It wasn't until we came to a couple of large logs across our path that she showed any signs of hesitation.  What was knee high for me was almost waist high for her. She began asking me to pick her up.  Most of the time, I smiled at her and offered my hand to guide her instead of carrying her. Her requests increased in frequency the longer we went on. She was getting tired.  Occasionally I did pick her up when the obstacles were too much for her to do alone. However, I wanted her to continue to walk as much as possible to help her develop endurance.
          That's what I think God is doing for me right now. He is with me every step of the way holding my hand, but He only carries me when the way is really difficult. He knows I'm tired, but He also has the perspective of being so much bigger than my obstacles.  He can see where the path gets easy again, just like I could with my daughter.  2 Cor. 5:7 tells us to walk by faith not by sight.  Continuing to trust God enough not to worry over every detail of our move builds my own faith-filled endurance. I know He is right there to catch me if I fall, and that is enough to keep me pressing on.
   

Five New Things I Learned the Fifth Time Around

             I've been in the baby stage of mothering since 2002, but I still keep learning more about myself and children. Here's a few things a that even I didn't know until the last year.
           1) You can run during pregnancy safely. With a little research and encouragement from fellow runners, I ran up until the day before I went into labor. I had to slow down. (I ran at 5.3 mph at the beginning of my pregnancy; and in my third trimester, I had to slow down to 4.5 mph). I hate running,  but I loved the energy I had during my pregnancy.  I felt fantastic!  I had barely any swelling, and I had cravings for more proteins than carbs...which meant a more balanced diet for my little one. In the previous two pregnancies, I had gained around 35-37 lbs. This time around I gained 24 lbs. I wondered if this would effect the baby's size, but my fifth weighed 7 lbs. 15 oz. (making him my biggest baby so far)
           2) Homebirth's are awesome and much safer than is generally believed.  I was surprised to find out how many precautions they take with homebirths...all the way from having IV fluids and emergency drugs available to the intensive history and listening for any signs of distress. I would have a homebirth again in a heartbeat...if there were a sixth time around.
           3) Olive oil is great for newborn bottoms. Every time I had bought some thick gunky diaper rash cream because the first poo (meuconium) stuck to the skin and caused horrible irritation. I was told by my midwife to simply apply olive oil after each diaper change with a cotton ball, and viola, the poo doesn't stick...which means it's easily wiped off...which means zero diaper rash. Super natural and effective!
             4) Washclothes are essential for baby boy diaper changes. Instead of getting peed on, the washcloth will take the brunt and save your shirt. It didn't seem to matter how recently he'd peed, he always was ready to fire. After the first couple of months, he stopped being so dangerous.
              5) Babies don't need constant bathing. I had no idea that the white coating (vernix caseosa) would actually be helpful. We never washed it off but rubbed it into his skin as our midwife suggested. Instead of having the nasty peeling skin (that all my other babies went through at a week out), his skin was all soft and sweet-smelling. Our midwife explained that it is like awesome baby lotion that protects the skin while in utero and also will protect them after birth. I swear his spit up just wiped off so much better...like natural Rain-X. (Ok, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.) I also found that sponge baths were completely sufficient for most days. Once a week after the cord healed, I gave him a complete bath making sure to scrub his head with a gentle brush to keep the cradle cap at bay. I did miss brushing a part of his forehead with a small patch of hair...when it started turning yellow like a week old bruise, I gave it a good brushing too. Although he needed his neck area washed a lot due to all his spitting up, he didn't need a full bath every other day (which was the regiment I had imposed on all of the previous four babies from the day they had come home from the hospital).

           This may be my fifth child, but it is my first boy. My mother-in-law used to talk about how good of a baby my hubby was. My newest child is a real chip off the old block. He is the most easy-going, low maintenance baby ever. I can't imagine any girl ever finding him less than that...but I'm sure she'll be tempted to once she's married.  When I pray for his future spouse, I ask that God will give him a woman that will love him and truly appreciate him, who will encourage him and enjoy his adventures along side him. This makes me reflective about how I respond to my adventuring partner. Am I enjoying the journey that we are on together? When I look into my sons eyes, I can see his father, and it makes my love and appreciation for both of them grow even more. The gift of a fresh perspective has been the greatest blessing the fifth time around.

What have you learned in the past year?

Where Is Home?

          We've gone through negotiations for a house many times now, and just when it seems like it's only a matter of days, something else gets thrown into the mix. Most recently we waited for a redo of a home disclosure only to have the seller add several items they were unwilling to leave instead of changing an answer to more correctly reflect the house's condition (a condition that my hubby caught while walking through the house showing). Nothing has felt like it has gone smoothly other than the initial sale contract on our house that fell through a month and a half later.
            Along with all the challenges of relocation, our animals have presented fun challenges this week too. Our female mallard duck had a growth on her third membrane in her eye. It basically looked like a small pencil eraser was coming out of the corner of her eye. One avian vet visit later (and eyedrops administered twice daily), and it is starting to look better. When they started saying that we only had a 50/50 chance of it going away, our family started praying really hard. We love Splashes, but she is not having a $400 surgery to remove the growth. Yesterday,  we also had the fun of waiting for Charlotte to stop laying on her egg and one of the other hen's eggs before we left to go to the library. Heaven help the person who tries to move a hen who is sitting on her eggs. You might just lose an eye. She snuck out of her pen in the yard to get back in our hen house that was supposed to be vacated for cleaning...apparently she missed our out of order sign. We couldn't just leave the house or the pen open while we were gone without leaving all the hens defenseless against the neighbor dog. I can't really complain though. The pancakes we had this morning thanks to her work were quite tasty.
          Every year my kids get excited when Cheerios puts out their boxes with books in them. We each pick out a book. This year one of them is entitled,  "Where Is Home, Little Pip?" The penguin gets lost and asks every animal for help, but they only describe their own home. Each animal includes their family as part of the description in their home. At the end of the story Pip's parents find her; but when they go to settle down for the night,  Pip questions why they aren't going to their original home. The parents then reveal that home is where they all are, no matter the location. We opened the box of Cheerios that held this book on the day we signed our contract for selling our home back at the end of May. It seemed fitting to be reminded what really constitutes a home. I had all kinds of emotions that day and in the days that have followed; but today as we look to where we will all be together again, it's a good reminder too of what we look forward to. There is a restlessness growing within all of us to have a reuniting of our family. None of us like being apart. This house doesn't feel like a home without my hubby here. I know he feels more at peace when he is here with us too.
          Last week our baby turned six months old, and I decided to walk around the house with our camcorder to document all the rooms and their importance especially for the baby,  who'll be too young to remember it. I showed him where he was born, and where he took his first bath (actually since it was a water birth maybe it's technically the same) along with where he swang while I'd run my thirty minutes.  Someday, I think he'll appreciate it. Every morning he looks over his crib railing, gibbering and waiting for me to arrive. I am greeted with the biggest grin ever because all he really wants is me. Home is where we are together.  He knows it now. Hopefully,  he'll never forget it.

Eye On It

            This morning while I ran, I listened to one of my favorite CD's: Toby Mac's "Eye On It".  All the songs on the CD are awesome to run to except for one track, but I can rant about that in another post. The lyrics from the title song encourage me a lot because it talks about the importance of keeping your eye on your goal. It says," I got my eye on it, and I will not quit. I got a new passenger to help me navigate the way, So when my heart hits the floor I can recalibrate. I feel the deeper callin' me, all else is fadin' in the past, So let me run in the race that I know is built to last. 'Cause I can feel the wind at my back. Chest is pumpin' like a heart attack. Feet are moving and my mind is locked. Pressing on I gotta take my shot. I got my eye on it."           

          This morning, I reflected on this past week, and all that we accomplished. We prepared the house for six showings. The only minor hitch was that my one daughter's bowels invariably need to empty whenever we are at the park during a showing, but my potty stashed under the back bench of our van has been quite handy...we've just had to endure the smell on the trip home. Yesterday, we found that our favorite park just got a port-a-potty. Hooray!  That won't even be a problem anymore. I was tempted yesterday to feel whiny about one couple that delayed us from going home. I needed to drop off the pooch, so we could do some grocery shopping. I felt irritated that they were taking so long looking at the house; but when I stopped to think that maybe they were there so long because they really liked it, I felt hopeful instead of annoyed. Our goal is to sell our house as quickly as possible,  so being flexible is important.                   

          This past week, I completed another goal. My continuing education is all done for the next two years. I will give you one pearl of wisdom that I gleaned concerning cirrhosis of the liver. If you're  drinking more than seven drinks a week, ladies, you had best be drinking some espresso as well.

           Although we haven't successfully negotiated a house contract in Kansas in the past week, we have made progress in ruling out more homes. Hopefully,  we will have news to share concerning that within a couple of days. It has been a long time without being together as a family,  but I can see the finish line ahead in that regard as well. I'm grateful to my hubby for driving to see us every weekend since May 20th (except for one). That has been a huge sacrifice on his part, but we need his presence. Our three year old counts down the days on the calendar every week. You should hear all the girls holler when they see him pulling down our drive. It's one of my high points for the whole week.

          This leg of our race feels like it's coming to a close. My hubby's assistance with temporary housing is up on August 20th. With the finish line looming ahead, there is a new surge of energy within me. We're so close.  I can't help but want to sprint to the finish!