On My Last Nerve

    The hardest thing about the past week or so has been the pinched nerves the baby has occasionally  been sitting on. Every once in a while when I'm walking, I move (or he moves) just right...and oh, the agony! Something even more painful happened to me this past Sunday. It really got on my nerves too.  I don't like to be wrong.
      I thought my water had broken at the concert Sunday night; but after nothing happening to indicate active labor, my midwife tested me and confirmed that it wasn't amniotic fluid. We are calling it "mystery fluid", since I know that I did not pee my pants! Initially, I was pretty disappointed. My hubby had gotten everything ready (including our hot tub) and had taken the day off of work. I felt like a failure (this is child number 5...how can I not tell??) and embarrassed since I had even posted on Facebook that my water had broken. Some of you may be smiling and understanding now why I was a perfect candidate for the "No More Perfect Moms" launch team (which comes out next Monday).
     Yesterday while I was running I was relieved when I realized that although I am severely imperfect...God is not. In her book, Jill Savage says, "We must understand that the imperfect parts of our lives are counterbalanced with the reality of a perfect God who longs to shine His light through the cracks of our lives." His timing is always amazing. I thought back to last year's fast and how I really wanted to stay in our old house. I had the thought in my mind, " What if God wants to give you something better?" Of course, I put that clause into my new prayers saying, "Well, God, if you want to give us something better, help me to let go of what we have." However, last summer when we were nearing our closing date with an RV or apartment in what seemed to be our new future, I had a hard time understanding what God was up to. He was preparing, what for me was, a real life miracle (click here to read more). Trust is hard when you are unsure of the outcome, but trust goes hand in hand with faith. The longer I've walked in relationship with God, the more I've realized that He always has a really good reason for answering my prayer "No" or "Not yet".
     I wrote all this last night while bathing our children, and this morning there was a lovely puddle when I got up from cuddling my four-year old who had a bad dream. Is it more "mystery fluid"? Well, it changed the litmus strip green, so I think we're in business...but this imperfect mama will let you all know. Time to let the Perfect One shine through these imperfect cracks of mine.