Welcome To The Jungle

     It's the third Thursday blog hop for Hearts at Home,  and today's topic is "No More Perfect Homes". In her new book "No More Perfect Moms", Jill Savage talks about our expectations of home and ways to make our expectations more realistic (along with tips to keep them manageable).
     I remember attending the annual Bloomington conference in 2007 and feeling stunned to see the tour of Jill's house in all it's non-perfect splendor. (When you get the book, there will be a link to be able to watch the original video.)  I was definitely suffering from "perfection infection" as Jill terms it, where all I could see was how perfectly beautiful everyone else's home was and how imperfect mine was. Most of my friends had lovely homes in subdivision settings that had been much more beautifully decorated than mine and were, of course, much newer than mine. Most of the ten years we were living at our home we either were expecting a baby or had one under a year old.  The constant stream of projects and baby gear in the way made me often feel like I had to somehow "explain" for my home when we had people over. When I saw Jill's house, I was so relieved to see that someone else had a house without the perfect chair from "Good Housekeeping" or had piles of unfolded laundry looming in their house too.  She even had favorite hand-me-down furniture just like we had. What a relief to know I wasn't the only one!
      As I've grown up and matured (a little), I've slowly been able to accept the fact that in reality everyone feels inadequate about something in their home. I'm learning to stop apologizing for what "normal" is in our house. I've learned that when people come over they are more interested in seeing me or my family with a smile on our faces than judging my less than perfect house complete with sticky food pieces under my kitchen table, or mound of dishes in the sink. If I am welcoming versus insecurely apologizing for all the things I didn't get to cleaning, they seem to relax and enjoy themselves a lot more. It IS easier said than done though; and when a friend dropped by a couple of weeks ago without any notice, I did cringe just a little bit when I saw the dirty entryway to my house and caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror (which was still sporting yesterday's make-up following my 30 minute run that morning).
     I'm 36 weeks pregnant, and I honestly think that part of the reason that I wouldn't have wanted a home birth before this is because I would've been stressed out about keeping my house perfect for the midwife who was going to deliver me. I mean, how stupid is that? She's a mom too, so she understands...and there is zero chance that I will feel like cleaning in between contractions when labor hits. It's not important! I still have to fight for the proper attitude about my home. Today was our "home visit" from our midwife that will be delivering our next baby. My four year old had just reached the 24 hour "all clear" from strep throat (because of antibiotics) just three hours before she came...which meant it was time to do the post-strep cleaning spree (disinfecting all the counters, tables, knobs, light switches, toilets, etc.) I had to tell myself that it was fine that I didn't have time to clean up the splatters on the kitchen floor, or help my little ones clean up the explosion of toys in the living room. It was more important to make sure she wasn't exposed and that the kids were fed and educated.  Jill's book is a good reminder that my home is "normal".
      I used to wait till my house was "perfect" to invite people over, and freak out for the 40 minutes before they arrived trying to straighten things up (practically sending me and my kids into tears). Having to keep my house in showing condition this past spring taught me a lot about what to focus on, and how to keep clutter down...but now I do run a much more relaxed household. I'm not bothered that there are still a few unpacked boxes from our move this past summer. I don't make the kids pick up every last toy before we have kids over for a playdate...we are just getting them out again as soon as they come in (granted I do need the floor cleared enough to be able to safely walk about). We do dishes daily, clean bathrooms weekly, and fold laundry at least every other day...but since the end of July, I've only dusted our house three times. (I know my mom will probably be shaking her finger at me when she reads this.) If you happen to come over and see a giant dust bunny in the corner (that now looks like a dust tiger due to the size), I just have one thing to say to you: "Welcome to the jungle."