Monday, July 8, 2013

Playing With Fire

          This past 4th of July our girls enjoyed sparklers.Our three year old had never seen anything like it before. As we began to explain to her how to hold them at the end of the stick while keeping them away from anyone, her eyes grew bigger and bigger. She was both excited by them and a little afraid. Our other girls immediately asked to take turns burning their own, but our youngest one waffled back and forth. I volunteered to hold one; and about half-way through mine, the youngest grabbed on with me. She was giddy with delight when she was finished. Fire is beautiful, but if it feels out of control, it'll turn scary really quickly.
           The Holy Spirit is often pictured as fire. In the early church when the Holy Spirit came upon believers on the day of Pentecost, "Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them." (Acts 2:3-NLT) Different denominations will contend different things about what being "filled with the Holy Spirit" means, but most that I've encountered, acknowlege how important His role is in the life of a believer.
          Two weeks ago, our sermon was about life being too short to play it safe. As a mom, safety is a top priority. When I think about "if you play with fire", I always finish it with "you're bound to get burned" not "you will be so energized". This sermon really made me think about my life, and it featured a a small clip about one woman who made a huge difference in Hong Kong. The pastor said that you could read more about her life in a book called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B009GKAH94/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1373254448&sr=8-2&pi=SL75">"Chasing the Dragon"</a>. That night I felt antsy, jittery, and desperate. I was right in the middle of making septic decisions, and I was feeling a bit put off by how long our inspector was taking for the inspection and his lack of communication. I decided to buy the book as a e-book for my Kindle App on my phone, and I'm really glad I did. Jackie Pullinger's story is amazing and inspiring, not because she came accross as some sort of super human. She shared all of her failures as well as her successes. It was clear that God was able to use her because of her willingness to listen. Her story has especially challenged me to reevaluate my prayer life, and make some changes.  She contended that the power of  the Holy Spirit to interpret and pray for you made all the difference in the world in the success of her ministry, so I have begun asking Him to daily interceed for me. (Romans 8:26) This last week felt disastrously tough; but when my daughter was asked to say one thing she was proud of me for, she said she was proud of me for not yelling nearly as much. That made me  pause and think. If I yelled less in a crazy week full of stress, maybe the Holy Spirit really is making a difference...even in my personality.
           The road ahead is uncertain.  The lyrics from a Britt Nicole song really spoke to me a couple nights ago:

You look around. 
It's staring back at you... 
Another wave of doubt. 
Will it pull you under,
You wonder?
What if I'm overtaken? 
What if I never make it? 
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer? 
When you take that first step 
Into the unknown, 
You know that
He won't let you go.
So what are you waiting for? 
What do you have to lose? 
Your insecurities try to alter you. 
You know you're made for more, 
So don't be afraid to move. 
Your faith is all 
It takes and 
You can walk on the water too.

         If the Holy Spirit is fire, then let my soul explode.

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