Tuesday, July 8, 2014

At the End of the Rainbow (Does God Have a "Like" Button? )

           I love the "like" button, but perhaps I overuse it a little. When something on Facebook makes me smile or even just know someone a little better than before, I'll "like" it. Do you ever wonder what God would do on Facebook?  Do you ever think, "If God saw me would He groan over how needy (or whiny) I am? Would He "like" me? Would He leave a comment? Would I be on His friend list? Most of my posts on Facebook revolve around an interesting photo or a link to my blog. Sharing my blog can be feel futile and a bit frustrating.The way they choose to show your feed to certain people is confusing; and often times, I debate whether or not to actually post a link at all. If people really want to know what's going on, it's easy to subscribe. Sometimes,  I want to give up Facebook completely because it makes me think more about other people's approval than I'd like to admit. I didn't start blogging because I want a million likes (although it feels gratifying to get a few).  I did it because God does amazing things all around me, and I want to share it. I want our children to look back and know where they came from. I want them to know that God had a hand in their lives from the very beginning. I want them to know me and my thoughts because there aren't enough moments in the day to express them.  I also want other friends to know that they are not alone in their hard days, and that God is real. Most of all, I want to make God smile.
           In my last post, I showed you my kooky smiley face. I was also in the middle of painting some serious yellow on my walls. My hubby rolled out the Aquatic Green on our hallway and a few comments about their union. I love those two colors; and although the 2 x 5 strip of them together looked great, on the walls they looked awful. In our last town, there was a house on campus with this crazy rainbow assortment of colors. My girls would always say they wanted to live in that house. However, my six-year-old child quipped that our colored walls were "too crazy" for even her. Half-pint said it reminded her of a bathroom. Today when I picked up our copy of Usborne books "Find the Duck", I discovered my subliminal inspiration. When I looked at those two bold colors competing for my attention, I felt like a miserable decorating flunkee.
          It lasted on the walls just overnight before I grabbed the primer and went to work. We had hastily cleaned up and stored our painting paraphernalia in the garage before friends came over to witness the "tropical" look on walls ("tropical" was their word,  not mine). It was 6am when I dragged the supplies out and noticed a few sprinkles coming down on our van. The sun was shining brightly. I began to get very excited.  This could mean only one thing: A RAINBOW!  I started searching and saw the tip of a gorgeous double rainbow.  I dashed into the house to grab my phone because I knew it wouldn't last long. After snapping a couple shots of the northern end, I slowly scanned south to see where it landed. Our house was at the end of the rainbow.  I took a video clip and tried a panoramic shot, but it started fading and the rain stopped.
           I'm convinced it was a small display of beauty just for me. Was it God saying, "Now this is how to do color!"? Was He trying to show me that he didn't put blue next to yellow in the rainbow,  so I shouldn't either? Perhaps. When I close my eyes and really listen, I think He was saying something like this: "The reason you like color is because I like it too. You were made in my image. I like what your trying. Don't give up. You are special...that's why I made the rainbow end on your house. I made this rainbow just for you...because I love you!" When I shared the pictures of the rainbow with Charles, he said that it "must be the gold walls" we just painted. Whatever the reason, the timing and location of that rainbow made me smile and feel special. Rainbows became significant for me after going through the "The Great Banquet". There is a song that we sang repeatedly that talks about the colors of the rainbow being like the many facets of God's love. God may not be on Facebook, but He does control creation. Seeing that rainbow perched above our home felt like He had left an enormous comment on the sky for me instead of my computer screen that read, "I LOVE YOU in so many ways! <3" He loves us all, so what has He done lately for you that felt like a comment? If you can't think of anything,  I dare you to be bold and ask for a comment. Then, keep your eyes wide open and share it.

Friday, July 4, 2014

While I Am Unaware

          I watched Half-pint struggling with her emotions as friend after friend was unable to come to the Buddy Bash event at a martial arts school we joined two weeks back. I wanted to make something happen for her; but the more people we asked, the more we were turned down. People were out of town or were hosting other guests. Some already belonged to another dojo. Everyone had very good reasons,  but my little girl still took it pretty hard. I told her that maybe she'd make a buddy there. She insisted that there was no one even close to her age in her class that still had a white belt (the party was only for white belts). Having lots of siblings is usually a big plus because you can always count on them as a buddy. Normally Mary would've just been her buddy, but Mary had rehearsal that night for the upcoming community theatre that she's apart of.
        Earlier in the week, I had been feeling a similar frustration. Very honestly,  I told God that I felt like He'd forgotten all about me. My first new friend (remember my flourless chocolate cake flop) I'd made since coming here moved away a little over a week ago. Although I know it's not very mature, I pouted over it. I didn't want to say goodbye to her. I liked her too much. I told God I didn't think He was doing a very good job of answering my prayers. Right away, He brought another friend's name to my mind who has been a direct answer to specific prayer. However on our very first playdate, she shared that she anticipated moving in the next few months. My "answer to prayer" would be moving too. I brought this up to Him to point out that I still felt neglected by Him. As I sat down to journal, I specifically asked to feel His presence that day. I had just had so many days that I felt lost in the shuffle...like God was too busy with someone else to really "be there" for me. Later that day, Mary laughed and said, "Mom, you have a smiley face on your leg!" I have no idea what I leaned against; but sure enough,  there were two eyes and a mouth imprinted on my leg. That's just the sort of kooky sign that makes me know it was no coincidence. It made me and the girls laugh out loud. It also made me aware that God was there the whole time, waiting for me stop being so oblivious and trust Him.
          The next day, I found out my "answer to prayer" no longer had to move. I was shocked and extremely grateful...and I felt like a great big whiner (Is this where my kids get it?)! This all happened the day before Half-pint was agonizing over the lack of a "buddy". Guess what happened at the Buddy Bash? She made a new friend who's only a couple months younger than her...that happens to homeschool...and whose mom happens to have the exact same name as my friend that moved away. Seriously! What are the odds on that?? My hubby pointed out that this has been a really great week for me: a great friend is staying put, a new friend has just surfaced, and Charles spent his three day weekend patching and painting our kitchen/dining room and hallway (which is a serious labor of love if you saw all the holes and cracks in those walls and knew how much he despises drywall compound). Last night as I was cutting in the happy face shade of yellow (inspired by a friend's autumnal picture in a golden grove),  my heart was all smiles. Even getting my hair stuck in a fly strip couldn't spoil my day. Even realizing on our way to church that I still had fly trap goo in my hair didn't bother me. This morning, I couldn't help but sing along with Lincoln Brewster,

"You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the song

Lord I'm amazed by you...
And how you love me."

        Are you pre-happy face? Know that God is there. He hears you, even if He isn't answering every prayer the way you asked.  On the drive home from the bash, Half-pint remarked that she probably would've never made a new friend if her sister or friends were there. If God isn't answering "yes", it's because He has something better in mind. He's getting ready to give you a smile too.