Building a Web

          "How long will it be till I find someone else that likes running?" I asked God this during my morning conversation, but it was more in resignation than a request.  With five kids, I have a hard time keeping my attention focused on a conversation with another adult long enough to know somebody beyond their name let alone their hobbies. I had talked about running with a kind soul at the original church we had attended when we first moved to Missouri (note that this was only possible because four of my five kids were in the children's church). For many reasons, we decided to check out another church a couple of months ago, leaving behind my running connection. I haven't found another nursing room there, let alone another nursing room buddy...but God is not deterred by minor things like my ideas of how something should happen.  A couple hours after that conversation with God, we were at the local library for story time. A mom that I had met the week before at the library started talking to me about running; and before I knew it, Mary and I signed up for our very first 5K (which'll be coming up in just a few weeks). I could easily imagine God chuckling at my surprise. That was really quick answer to pray.
            The thing that has been hardest about moving is leaving behind the support network of moms and families we had in Illinois.  In December,  I remember being sad that the children were still feeling disconnected from having real "friends". I felt a pang of responsibility and guilt. Maybe I made a mistake by continuing to homeschool them. It was hard to have priorities beyond school and unpacking for me this fall. I wanted to feel at home in our home before having people over, but there was a depressive gloom on our girl's faces, especially the older ones. What's a mom to do? Well, I said yes to every e-vite for the monthly homeschooler field trip. I also decided to join a homeschool co-op.  I've never been against co-ops. I just don't like to commit to someone else's schedule (and try to get everyone somewhere on time and prepared with homework and such). I like the flexibility of taking a week off anytime I want and being done as early as May. God heard my cry and protestations. I just happened to show up at AWANA early for pick-up, just happened to meet with a homeschooling mom who hooked me up with one of the founders of a wonderful co-op that has 12 week semester (thus relieving some of my issues with commitment). It has been one of the best experiences of my short teaching career. We've made friends and had playdates, besides being challenged to be a better teacher (like learning what sensory bins are and how to incorporate them...currently Mr. Blue Eyes loves his morning "sensory bin"--our dog's food tub).
           God hasn't stopped with helping me build my "web" of friends.  He's placed two other friends (that also happen to homeschool) in my path that have no connection to the co-op or library time or AWANA. Both of them have their own areas of expertise,  and I've really loved getting to know them better. Sometimes it's hard for me to wait for God's answer to my prayers.  Sometimes I am tempted to think He isn't listening at all, but looking back I am grateful for the timing. Do you really appreciate something unless you truly feel the loss? When I recently read the account of a cripple being healed by Peter and John in Acts 3-4, I was suprised when I read Acts 4:22. It says, "For the man on whom this sign (miracle) of healing was performed was more than forty years old." I wondered what it would feel like to wait more than forty years for my answer to come. He'd been crippled since birth (Acts 3:2). Surely his mom prayed for healing while she cradled him in her arms for the first time or when she realized that he was different from the other children. I imagine his mother was truly grateful for his healing after watching him struggle for so long. The crippled man must have felt happy as well.
            A friend recently asked how I knew different people and had found some connections for various homeschool opportunities after just living here since September.  Later, I realized it was because God had blessed me with placing people right where I could meet them. That's truly an answer to my prayers and an answer to many of your prayers that have come alongside me in the past few months. I was so thankful for all of you who contacted me after my posting about our sickness, offering to pray for us. It connected me to you. It prompted me to start asking others how I could pray for them, which connected me to them. Today, I'm so thankful for the web of support and especially for the One who built it for me.

In Pursuit of Excellence

            I was a little taken back when my daughter finally spewed out what had been stuck in her craw. "You want me to be perfect!" I had no idea this was what was making her so frustrated in her schoolwork. As a homeschooler, the concept of mastery is always a priority to me. After all, I don't want someone showing up to tell me that I'm hurting our children by not making sure they know their x 3's facts well enough (or that they don't know the words to our national anthem). My daughter had translated my desire for "mastery" into a belief that I expected "perfection". I asked her why she thought I wanted her "to be perfect", and she went on to talk about the remediation process I use (if she gets problems wrong, I go back over them with her to make sure she understands why it is wrong and the correct way to do things). I explained that I just wanted to make sure that she understood the concept, but I acknowledged her feeling pressured by me and apologized. Maybe I was guilty of over going through every problem that was wrong, instead of just looking for a pattern in what was wrong. I feel pressure myself and that had translated to her feeling pressure too.
           "Practice makes perfect." I've said that phrase a lot, but I believe what I long for is excellence.  Jill and Kathy do a great job of outlining the difference in their new book coming out today, "No More Perfect Kids". Here are a couple differences that I really liked: "Excellence is something done well. Perfection is something done without fault. Excellence is attainable. Perfection in unattainable. Excellence allows for failure. Perfection punishes failures." If I hadn't been reading this book, I doubt I would've even sat down to listen to Half-pint that night. The night before Carrie was up at 11:30pm till 2:30am with a horrible ear infection,  and Mr. Blue Eyes had woken up early at 4am till he finally went down at 7am...netting me two hours of sleep. I was exhausted, but I knew this was important because of my daughter's tone of voice. Her words drove home the importance of reading this book at this specific time in my life. Honestly, NMPK wasn't easy for me to read because I could see so many problems that I needed work on (maybe that's my perfectionist tendencies kicking in). We do math timings, handwriting books, and grammar exercises. I was unaware of what else was being taught.
           I would encourage you to pick up the book and find some practical solutions with me. If you pick up the No More Perfect Kids book (e-book or hard copy from any brick and mortar store or online retailer) anytime between March 13 (today!) – 23, 2014, you will be eligible to receive over $100 in free resources.

Here’s how it works:

1) Buy the No More Perfect Kids book between March 13 and March 23
2) Scan or take a picture of the receipt
3) email a copy of your receipt to freebies@nmpk-extras.com
4)Within 24 hours your will receipt a reply with a link and password to unlock you free resources!

Here’s what you’ll get:

4 Printables:

You’re Special Poster
I Corinthians 13 for Parents Poster
Compliments and Corrections Booklet by Dr. Kathy Koch
Conversation Starters for Parents and Grandparents Booklet by Dr. Kathy Koch

4 Hearts at Home Audio Workshops:

When You Feel Like Screaming–Sue Heimer
Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid–Shaunti Feldhahn
Raising Grateful Kids–Marianne Miller
Real Ways to Connect with Your Kids–Kathi Lipp​

3 E-Books:

A Perfect Pet for Peyton by Gary Chapman
How Am I Smart by Kathy Koch
The 10 Commandments of Parenting by Dr. Ed Young

There is also a free 13 day challenge to help motivate us to help our kids. I'll be signing up today. I need a daily challenge to get me started on the right foot. Half-pint and the rest of our children will thank us. Want to join me? Click here.

Let's use the next 13 days of bringing excellence into our homes and classrooms, and a lifetime of growing better as a parent.
          

"Uncle!"

           There are some days that just feel like one big fight. By 5pm on Friday evening,  I was totally ready to cry "Uncle!" Mr. Blue Eyes started tossing his cookies and milk at 4 am on Thursday.  We went through no less than six outfits between the two of us. Homeschooling was a disaster between the puking and the mountains of extra laundry that resulted, but he seemed to feel better by the evening and gobbled down some mac 'n cheese. Big mistake.  The next two hours were full of pile after pile (splatter even got on my sheets--which I didn't get to till the following day) of regurgitated mac 'n cheese. The next day brought a couple more rounds of throw-up, but also a fever...and his cough was getting worse.
          At the same time that my sheets were getting splattered, the original daddy duck was loving on his lady and inadvertently hooked his leg on a nail when dismounting. He broke his leg and put his mating season on hold. Friday,  he saw our vet and got a splint on his leg. Due to our vet visit and a couple more rounds of puke, our school work was still not finished by 5pm.
      What happened at 5pm? I finally had the baby down for his first nap of the day, so I opened up my Bible. I was done. I had had it up to my eyeballs. I read John 14:1 which says, "Let not your heart be troubled (dismayed, agitated)..." I paused a moment and let that soak in. It wasn't even a whole verse, but the words refreshed my soul. The verse goes on to say that you should believe in Jesus just like you do God.
           I had no idea that I would be up at 1am the following day throwing up, or that Gracie would start throwing up at 4am (followed by Mary at 6:30am, Carrie at 8pm and Half-pint by 1am the following morning). The scripture kept rattling around in my brain. "Let not your heart be troubled..." With every clean  towel thrown down over Gracie's dirty sheets (where she threw up three times in the first two hours--gone are the days of full sheet changes in between pukes), I thanked God that at least I had stopped puking. In the weakness that comes after puking, I thanked God that at least Mr. Blue Eyes had stopped throwing up and running a fever. As I watched carefully for signs of dehydration,  I still felt His comfort. One phrase can make such a difference. I prayed out for wisdom and sometimes in frustration over the overwhelmingness of it all. I was super thankful for Charles' help through all this, but there were moments that I still wondered if I was doing the right thing. Dehydration and phlegm are bad combos. There was alot of diaper counting, popsickle making and juice given (we polished off our first bottle of Basil Oil and used Doterra's Breathe combo for the cough...which seemed as effective as the nebulizer was when he was diagnosed with pneumonia). Bottom line, it was God's mercy and, I believe, answers to repeated prayers that has gotten us through.

          We have had reason to laugh in the midst of all this though. I started running to Group One Crew's album "Outta Space Love" last month, and the first song on it is "Live It Up". While starting a load of laundry, I started singing lyrics about our bout with the stomach bug. Mary and I have decided to write a full song to that tune. She came up with using "Clean it up!" instead of "Live it up!" We'll let you know if we get the YouTube video up.  On Saturday (in the thick of our puke-a-thon), Mr. Blue Eye's crib rail fell apart. I couldn't help but laugh at our 18 year old crib (yup, it's a second hand beauty). I grabbed my phone and took a picture. They must build cribs expecting most people to stop after 2 or 3 kids. My hubby quickly helped me put it back together temporarily and joked about using duct tape to fix it. That part didn't make me laugh at the time, but today it does seems a little funny. A bit red neck, but funny. Don't worry. We intend to fix it properly.

          Yesterday, I read John 16 and the way the chapter ended seemed so fitting to our situation. I know, everyone has rough weeks...this just happened to be one of mine. If it's your turn, please remember this verse. John 16:31 in the Amplified Version says "I have told you these things,  so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence.  In the world you have tribulations and trails and distress and frustration;  but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident,  certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]