I was a little taken back when my daughter finally spewed out what had been stuck in her craw. "You want me to be perfect!" I had no idea this was what was making her so frustrated in her schoolwork. As a homeschooler, the concept of mastery is always a priority to me. After all, I don't want someone showing up to tell me that I'm hurting our children by not making sure they know their x 3's facts well enough (or that they don't know the words to our national anthem). My daughter had translated my desire for "mastery" into a belief that I expected "perfection". I asked her why she thought I wanted her "to be perfect", and she went on to talk about the remediation process I use (if she gets problems wrong, I go back over them with her to make sure she understands why it is wrong and the correct way to do things). I explained that I just wanted to make sure that she understood the concept, but I acknowledged her feeling pressured by me and apologized. Maybe I was guilty of over going through every problem that was wrong, instead of just looking for a pattern in what was wrong. I feel pressure myself and that had translated to her feeling pressure too.
"Practice makes perfect." I've said that phrase a lot, but I believe what I long for is excellence. Jill and Kathy do a great job of outlining the difference in their new book coming out today, "No More Perfect Kids". Here are a couple differences that I really liked: "Excellence is something done well. Perfection is something done without fault. Excellence is attainable. Perfection in unattainable. Excellence allows for failure. Perfection punishes failures." If I hadn't been reading this book, I doubt I would've even sat down to listen to Half-pint that night. The night before Carrie was up at 11:30pm till 2:30am with a horrible ear infection, and Mr. Blue Eyes had woken up early at 4am till he finally went down at 7am...netting me two hours of sleep. I was exhausted, but I knew this was important because of my daughter's tone of voice. Her words drove home the importance of reading this book at this specific time in my life. Honestly, NMPK wasn't easy for me to read because I could see so many problems that I needed work on (maybe that's my perfectionist tendencies kicking in). We do math timings, handwriting books, and grammar exercises. I was unaware of what else was being taught.
I would encourage you to pick up the book and find some practical solutions with me. If you pick up the No More Perfect Kids book (e-book or hard copy from any brick and mortar store or online retailer) anytime between March 13 (today!) – 23, 2014, you will be eligible to receive over $100 in free resources.
Here’s how it works:
1) Buy the No More Perfect Kids book between March 13 and March 23
2) Scan or take a picture of the receipt
3) email a copy of your receipt to email@example.com
4)Within 24 hours your will receipt a reply with a link and password to unlock you free resources!
Here’s what you’ll get:
You’re Special Poster
I Corinthians 13 for Parents Poster
Compliments and Corrections Booklet by Dr. Kathy Koch
Conversation Starters for Parents and Grandparents Booklet by Dr. Kathy Koch
4 Hearts at Home Audio Workshops:
When You Feel Like Screaming–Sue Heimer
Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid–Shaunti Feldhahn
Raising Grateful Kids–Marianne Miller
Real Ways to Connect with Your Kids–Kathi Lipp
A Perfect Pet for Peyton by Gary Chapman
How Am I Smart by Kathy Koch
The 10 Commandments of Parenting by Dr. Ed Young
There is also a free 13 day challenge to help motivate us to help our kids. I'll be signing up today. I need a daily challenge to get me started on the right foot. Half-pint and the rest of our children will thank us. Want to join me? Click here.
Let's use the next 13 days of bringing excellence into our homes and classrooms, and a lifetime of growing better as a parent.