A Tumor, Poison Ivy, and Strep Throat-Oh My!

     I am convinced that once you know the truth about Jesus and the way to heaven, that Satan's primary goal is to try to steal your joy and make you discontented.
     This past week we've faced several challenges. Harley, our dog, was diagnosed with a histiocytoma. After doing testing, we were relieved to find out it is benign and should go away in 7-8 weeks. The tumor seemed to show up in just a matter of hours on his lip; and for the first couple of days, I was convinced that he'd merely been nosy and either gotten stung or pricked by a thorn. However when we took in our kittens for their shots,  the vet took one look at the picture and video on my phone and suggested we bring him in. Nothing life-threatening...just an annoyance and one more bill to pay.
     I somehow got poison ivy on my arm, and now new patches of itchiness are showing up on my body elsewhere.  It began showing up the same day that we found out we'd have to bring Harley in to be tested. Again, clearly not life-threatening...but very annoying!
      On the same day we took Harley in for testing, I took my oldest child in for a throat culture, and she tested positive for strep throat...and two more members had symptoms by the next day. Half of our family is now being treated with antibiotics. Thank God that it is readily treatable, and thanks to our five rounds with strep two years ago, I'm rather adept at the cleaning regiment required ( change toothbrushes, clean all door knobs, light switches, and phones...and replace the hand towels with paper towels, etc., etc.) Again annoying, but not even close to life-threatening. I have to tell you that there was a personal moment of panic within me when I found out she was positive. Last year we had zero visits to the doctor for illness; but the previous year, it felt like we were there weekly if not bi-weekly. My oldest missed 10 days of school all due to strep throat. She already had her tonsils removed two years prior to our year of the "strep throat plague". I learned to have a lot more compassion for moms that struggle with their kids being sick. Our kids had been relatively healthy up until that year. I learned first hand how badly and responsible a mom feels. I kept asking myself, "Am I doing something wrong? Why does everyone keep getting sick?" Everyone was on antibiotics for two rounds,  and the oldest siblings had five rounds.
     Last week was also emotionally challenging as well as physically challenging. I can also almost guarantee that if you begin a book concerning improving your marriage,  Satan will try to tempt you beyond what you thought possible to fail at what your learning, and God will allow you a million opportunities to practice all that you've been reading. I started a book a couple of weeks ago, and it was no accident that I had a ton of challenges last week. It seemed like every topic we discussed were all ones that I had very strong opinions on. I am happy to say that by the end of the week we were able to communicate about a topic I felt passionate about without either of us yelling or getting out of control (which is a miracle for me); so despite the rough start, I felt that last week we grew as a couple in our communication and confrontation skills (which is something I definitely struggle with).
     Last week was hard,  but it brought to mind one of my favorite verses in the Bible. 2 Cor. 1: 3-5 says,"
What a wonderful God we have-He is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does He do this this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement,  we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us." (The Living Bible translation)
     I hope and pray that your week is going smoothly; and if it's not, I pray that you may experience God's comfort because in time you can encourage someone else who is experiencing what you are struggling with.

Homeowners Once Again

     Yesterday was our closing for our new house, and I was overwhelmed again by how amazingly good God really is. 
     We have six girls in our new neighborhood that live within a mile of us that all homeschool like us. They were all over at out house at one time a couple of days ago, and let me tell you that 10 girls in one house can make a lot of noise...but there was so much joy on my girls' faces that I couldn't help but feel so happy with them. Growing up, I had only two girls that were my age in our neighborhood; and they moved away after a couple of years. I hated that we had no kids to play with because my brother (who is three and a half years older than me) had very little desire to play with me as soon as he reached the ripe age of 8. This probably stems from the fact that he had figured out that if he did anything questionable that I would tattle on him. My brother played the role of the family stinker, and was only primarily interested in mischief by that age. My brother regularly told me that a tattle-tailer goes to hell in an effort to get me to stop, but it didn't work. I always longed for a neighborhood that had a few girlfriends for me. My girls now have what I dreamed of as a child.
     My husband mentioned shortly after we moved in that our property  has everything that he ever dreamed of as a boy...a pond to fish in, a big barn to play in, and woods to go exploring in. Our kids are getting to experience what he dreamed of as a child too.
     It really boggles my mind when I think of how God put this all together for us when we had only a week before we had to be out of our house. He even gave us things that we didn't even know we'd want like the sauna in the basement which my hubby has found really improves his breathing at night now that it's his allergy season. I wouldn't have even thought to ask for two ovens in my kitchen, but I've longed to be able to host more family gatherings. Shortly after we moved in, my hubby and I both agreed that it'd be fun to host Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.
     Now I'm not trying to say that the house is perfect. My hubby and I agreed that when we moved in, we would be the picture of contentment. We would only fix things that weren't functional instead of things that were cosmetically unappealing. We have plenty of time for that in the next 50 years. However, my hubby quickly built a compost pile for us because that is priority for our family. After he fixed the leaking shower in our master bathroom and after it took what felt like 20 minutes to wash the soap out of our hair from the super low-flow shower head, we also agreed a new shower head was needed. However, our new fixture is silver and the knob to turn on the shower is brass colored. Normally this would have been something that would have been changed. However it is still fully functional and only aestheticly disturbing, so it is staying for now. I could also tell you about the lovely floral carpet going up our stairs that matches my mom's couch. It is still fully functional though, so it is staying along with the gorgeous plaid carpet in our girl's room. It's all just small stuff in the big picture.
    With all that said, I'm really so grateful to be a homeowner once again. What a wonderful feeling to be able to settle!
   

Red bumps

     It's so easy to complain.

     Yesterday,  I was feeling a little frustrated by the lack of progress that I've made in unpacking this past week.  Most of my free time has been taken up because of the little red bumps showing up on my family.  We suspect it is fleas at this point, and have taken measures to make it as hard as possible for them to multiply.  This has meant a lot of vacuuming in our house full of carpet (along with mattresses), washing everything with borax that is washable,  and deep freezing the rest for close to a week...there are too many stuffed animals to do at one time, so it also meant packing them up out of the house to freeze in batches.
     Those of you who know me,  know how natural I try to keep everything.  I'm not a big fan of chemicals especially while I'm pregnant. I even abstained from nail polish during my first two pregnancies because it contained dibutyl phthalate (which has since been removed, but was supposed to cause birth defects)...so the thought of failing is scary for me. Flea bombs would be difficult to accept. That would be the next step though.  I think I'm doing the right things, but the proof is in the pudding.
     Needless to say, I've been a bit tense about it. First of all, we weren't even sure what was causing the bumps earlier in the week, and quite honestly we could still be wrong. Thursday night when my girls described bugs in their bedrooms that fit a fleas description, I was initially relieved.  However,  then I realized that it meant spending all Friday morning cleaning, washing, and packing. I was a bit grumpy at first. Then, I began purposefully thanking God for the nice Dyson vacuum to suck up all the fleas. As I put all the linens and pillows in my new washing machine, I thanked God that my dear hubby bought me a wonderful new machine with the largest capacity possible,  so it only took three loads to do all the linens instead if 7 or 8 loads that it would have taken my machine at the old house. I even began praying for God to supernaturally zap the bugs I'd missed. 
     I started singing a song about it to the tune of "Today is the Day" by Lincoln Brewster (much to the chagrin of my older girls, who roll their eyes and giggle when I alter familiar words). My little ones soon joined in though.
     Still, yesterday I felt discouraged looking at the stacks of boxes I'd hoped to get to this week. When one of my girls asked why I was yelling yesterday at them for taking so long to get out to the car to take them for a play date, I realized it wasn't so much about them as it was the fact that I'd been too focused on work and not allowing enough play. I was also a little frustrated with how rough this week had been. I felt exhausted.
     I read "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young yesterday, and I truly felt like Jesus was speaking to me. It read, " Expect to encounter adversity in your life, remembering that you live in a deeply fallen world. Stop trying to find a way that circumvents difficulties. The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for Me. When you became a Christian, I infused My very Life into you, empowering you to live on a supernatural plane by depending on Me. Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle."
     This past week has made me even more aware of the general challenges of life that I will continue to face as long as I continue to live, and my need to relax and trust God to get me through the challenges including little red bumps. Also, did I mention that God has allowed me to escape unscathed from all but two little bumps while I've watched everyone else get somewhere between 5 and 50?
     It's so easy to complain, but the truth is God is good.

How We Stay Together

     I thought this might be a fun time to share why we decided to homeschool. Jill Savage is doing her Hearts at Home Third Thursday Blog Hop, and the topic is "family togetherness". First of all, I'm not trying to imply that everyone who misses their children should homeschool; but when I see post after post on facebook about crying mommas, it makes me remember those days. I think that some of them might find homeschooling a good fit for their family. There was nothing wrong with our public school that we sent our girls to for three years.  The teachers were fabulous, and I felt very good about the education they were getting there. The only thing that really put me ill at ease is when I began to get the feeling that the education  board was making decisions for the school based solely on money, and not what was best for my child by cancelling a great effective program (not that I don't understand the importance of a balanced budget...we face the same challenges at home!).
     With that being said,  the primary reason we began homeschooling was wanting to be more involved in my girls lives. There is only so much time you can spend at the school when you have two little ones in tow. I also hated all the tears of my oldest when she told me regularly how much she just missed me. She loved school; she just wanted me there with her. It broke her heart, and it broke mine as well. I also began seeing a huge disconnect between the older ones and their younger siblings that disappeared by the end of the summer months. I just wanted the togetherness to continue, not stop as soon as school began.
     I also said that my children were a priority, but unfortunately house work sometimes ranked above them.  When I began homeschooling, I realized what a huge responsibility I now had in teaching them. It was easier to make them a priority over all the work that could be done,  and guess what? They would spend thirty minutes helping with house work later in the day when school was finished, and it was a win both ways. I was able to spend a lot more time with them reading, and talking, and learning with them. Conversely, they learned life skills like how to wash dishes or fold laundry. When they were in school, I felt so guilty asking them for help when I knew how hard they were working at school plus needing to complete their thirty minutes of homework every evening.
     The greatest thing I gained from choosing to homeschool last year was actually knowing my child again. It was too easy to loose touch with them when their teacher saw more of them in a week than I did.
     I don't know if we will homeschool our children forever. We will evaluate it year by year in the same way we did when they went to public school. My hubby and I am confident that this year the best choice for us is still to homeschool.

The Joys of Technology

     This weekend was momentous...my hubby set up the entertainment center, and we are able to watch movies again. Part of me is happy about this, and part of me just wants to say goodbye to our TV forever. It was so nice to see the girls playing creatively, and not asking to see a movie every day. I hate being the stick in the mud, but that's kind of my job as a mom. I do have to admit that it was really nice to throw in a movie for my youngest this morning when she woke up before I ran, so I could still have some alone time running in peace.
     I do think there is a balance in everything; and at different points in motherhood, it has looked very different.  My dear sister-in-law assured me that it was just a season in life to get through when my two oldest were under four, and to not  feel guilty about them watching a small amount of TV everyday in order to keep my sanity.  She was right. They soon became more interested in playing with each other than watching "Blues Clues". We had lots of weeks where we barely turned on the TV. Last year we went through the adjustment of homeschooling,  and I admit that I occasionally threw in a Wiggles movie when my youngest skipped her nap (and we needed to do something cerebral like math).
     Now that I know what they are capable of, I'm sure that I will once again feel a little more confident in setting a tighter boundaries in their movie watching time (we still have no satellite dish or internet for our computer-my hubby thinks it's a bit silly that I blog on my phone, but I think it's great).
     Times change. Even though I strongly resisted getting a smart phone, I'm glad I finally switched to one a couple of weeks before moving. I'm beginning to find my own balance with it as well...and it hasn't dominated me as much as I had feared. I'm still trying to figure out how to access one of my e-mail accounts, and I hate that I don't know how to edit my facebook comments. I'm slowly coming to terms with having some typos in them, and not cringing too much. When I try to edit them, I accidentally hit the button to post it, and I don't know how to take it back.
     I remember feeling like an oddball as a kid because there were lots of shows we couldn't watch, and we took summers off from TV. As a parent, I can finally appreciate this because I know it helped me develop a real love for  reading, and helped me to spend more time with my pets. I've repeatedly told my kids that I don't think watching TV or movies is bad (especially when you are selective about what you watch)...it's bad to miss out on the things that you could be doing instead (which is why they don't get to veg for hours in front of the TV ignoring me or their siblings).  Balance, right?  No freaks...just well-rounded kids is what I'm aiming for.

The Song Remembers When

     I thought I was a patient person until I became a mother. My children have challenged my patience like nothing else. 
     This last week I was reminded of  something that really helps me: music. I was feeling really discouraged by all the boxes I needed to unpack when my 4 year old turned on some music for me. It was amazing how I instantly felt lighter and happier, and I had a better attitude. I felt like I got a lot more accomplished in the next half an hour than I had for the previous 2 hours, and with a spring in my step.
     It reminded me of my secret to showing our house for 6 months. When we would prepare to leave the house for a showing, I was tempted to get angry, discouraged by what still needed to be done and start yelling at my kids. I use to sing a song from church over and over out loud to help keep me from yelling at the kids. My kids were always so helpful. There wasn't any reason to be upset with them...it was the the routine of simply getting four kids out the door plus our dog by a specific time that was so hard, and trying to leave the house dish-free, laundry-free, and odor free.
     Music is so helpful that this past week when we were informed of some potential setbacks to closing on our house (besides praying about it), the first thing I did was to turn on a Lincoln Brewster cd and start singing my heart out. Everything appears to be straightening out in that regard, and our final hurdle of the bank appraisal is scheduled for Monday. I could have wasted time worrying over it, or even worse, yelled at the kids about something little because of the stress I felt.
     This past week I also felt encouraged when we were obviously late for a doctors appointment, and God helped me bite my tongue and not snap at the kids. It ended up working out just fine, and we had a wonderful day together...but it could have easily gone south if I'd set the tone for the day with a little sarcasm which I had sometimes do when I'm frustrated.
      Recently our pastor talked about looking for little victories, and I guess that's why I'm sharing this with you. Little victories can add up to big change over time. My patience and self- control of my tongue are a constant area that I need to grow in...I'm still figuring out the whole "be angry, and sin not." I find myself apologizing a lot.
     The next time you feel discouraged, I challenge you to turn on the radio or a cd you love. Crank it up!
     What have you been struggling with lately that you seen a victory in? I'd love for you to leave them in the comments below, and I'd love to pray with you about them if you are still struggling like me.

Home birth

     For those of you who know me, "adventure girl" is a bit ironic for my profile name. Actually "open to adventure" girl is probably a little closer to the truth. I have been known mostly as "safety girl" though. My hubby laughed when he found out that I made all the kids buckle up in their car seats when we delivered a meal in the rain to a next door neighbor that lived maybe a hundred feet away from us. That's just who I am. I'm not a big risk taker.
     You may be wondering what my next adventure will be...well, a home birth might just be it. Our new home has a lovely hot tub already installed in the master bathroom, so that could very well be the site for our next  birth. I don't know if my husband realizes it or not, but he was actually the inspiration behind this. As we sat in the hospital last time after our baby was born only to have person after person come through our door while we were "resting", he said, "Now I know why people have home births." It is the longing for peace and quiet that drives my desire for a home birth. That and the fact that I was only at the hospital for 26 minutes before we delivered our last child. I loved laboring at home.
     This past week when I visited with a home birth midwife, it was confirmed in my heart that this is really what I want. This weekend  we filled out the paperwork. I'm so thankful that when I talked to my husband about it, he didn't even flinch when I mentioned the price. He just said, "If this is what you really want, let's do this." Can you say supportive?
     For those of you out there who are  little concerned, let me say that the hospital is only 13 minutes away. Also home birth midwives come equipped with oxygen,  medication, and even IV fluids for emergencies. For a low risk pregnancy, it's not even that big of a deal. Maybe I am still trying to claim my title of "safety girl", but honestly, this is a little out of my comfort zone.    
     When I felt my little one kick me today for the first time, I knew I would love to have my children wake up this February only to find their newest siblings just a room away.

Blessings counted

     Today as I was swimming just down the road from where we live, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for all God's blessings. Our friends graciously allow us to swim anytime we want, and that alone blows me away besides their kindness in other ways. I'm so thankful for that generosity...it's like living down the road from a spiritual set of parents.
     We also now live just down the hill from a spiritual sister as well. Remember when we were without water? We had one emergency set of sheets that we needed washed (because of an accident my little one had), and she graciously allowed us to wash our sheets, and called me when they were dry.
     Then there were all my dear friends and neighbors that brought us meals on just the right day at just the right time. God has really blessed us in the past couple of weeks despite a few discouragements.
      Last, but certainly not least of all...drum roll, please...my hubby is no longer commuting three hours a day as of this week! This is two months sooner than we expected.  It has been so wonderful for the girls and I to listen to him read "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" out loud every night since our TV is still packed away, and we are in no hurry to get it out. It is a great thing to have our evenings back as a family!
     "Oh how grateful and thankful I am to the Lord because He is so good. I will sing praise to the name of the Lord who is above all lords. " Psalm 7:17 (the Living Bible)

Strongholds

     In light of my recent feelings and anger about losing my pet, I was reminded again of what God has been changing in my life. Just a few years ago, I would have never shared the story about our pet dog killing my pet cat...probably for two reasons. For one, I would have feared what people would have thought about reading it. Secondly, deep down I struggle with feeling ashamed over it, and feeling responsible for the tragedy.  I used to hide many secrets, specifically things that made me look bad. This is a stronghold or area of weakness in my life that Satan really tortured me over. The typical lie he'd try to feed me was, "If people knew the real you and all the things you've done, they'd never even give you the time of day." Lying or hiding things became a regular part if who I was. This really kept me feeling anxious, and pathetic for years. This was not God's plan for me; but in sowing seeds of dishonesty, this is the reality I had created for myself.  God broke this stronghold nearly four years ago when I went through something called "Great Banquet ". He began by gently prodding me to confess a lie to my hubby; and in the next year, I had multiple people that I came clean with.  I actually plan on sharing with you one of my biggest "skeletons in the closet " sometime in the next month.
     When Giselle was killed, one of the first things I did was share the sorrow I had over it with the person that had given her to me. I've learned that the moment I begin to feel tempted to hide something that I need to confess it...or else it gets harder and harder to come clean. I think my hubby probably used to dread all the times that I'd start a conversation with, " I need to tell you something". What I have found is that his love has been greater than any mistake I've made.  I thank God that he gave me that kind of spouse!
     That brings me to another stronghold in my life, and this one is a work in progress. I really struggle with unforgiveness, and the bitterness that goes with it. As Christians, we are commanded to forgive; and as many people have pointed out,  it is really for our own good. Our anger only hurts ourself,  and it can even effect us physically. I believe it was Joyce Meyer that once said depression is really anger turned inward. I'm happy to tell you that looking at Harley no longer fills me with anger. He is a sweet dog,  and I do love him very much despite what he did. I also have to say that our remaining kittens are in our outbuilding permanently separated from him. The people I love the most, I find I have the hardest time forgiving.  That means my hubby is at the top of my list, followed by my girls. God has really been working on me in this area, and I wish I could say that this is now as simple for me as it is to be honest...but in reality, it is still something that I'm growing in. It takes a constant focus on saying, even out loud, "I forgive you". Sometimes I'm even angry over unintentional things.  Pretty pathetic, huh? It just goes to show that I'm still in desperate need of my Savior's transformation into His likeness. Hopefully, in a few years, I will be able to say that it's easy. What about you? What do you struggle with? Why not confide in a friend, or simply go to God and ask for wisdom in this area? You are welcome to share anonymously in the comments below, but I know sometimes even that is too scary in the beginning. Jill Savage has a new book coming out in February called "No More Perfect Moms", and I can't wait to read it because I definitely qualify.