Twelve Days of Christmas

            A couple of weeks ago, we drove home from an evening excursion; and Charles came up with the idea of rewriting the "Twelve Days of Christmas" after our own year in the country. This stopped Mr. Blue Eyes' wailing and knashing of teeth (he's not a big fan of being buckled into the car for long drives at night unless he is asleep). The van was filled with laughter as we tried to remember each line. We re-edited it the more we sang it. This just may become a new family tradition. Hopefully,  I can remember our final version. Give me grace if I don't.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a red neck Christmas tree (we cut down a cedar tree on our land and put it up only to realize it is too tall...the girls insisted it was still perfect).

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three bourbon reds (we're talking about turkeys, not whiskey), two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me four girls in a row (I get at least one comment about it every time I'm out in Missouri), three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me five gold campiens (actually they're golden campiens,  but "gold campiens" sounds better), four girls in a row , three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me six half-breed chicks (one "gold campien" hatched eggs that are part Rhode Island Red), five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me seven crazy [fill in our last name], six half-breed chicks, five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eight kitty cats, seven crazy [fill in our last name], six half-breed chicks, five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me nine acres burning,  eight kitty cats, seven crazy [fill in our last name], six half-breed chicks, five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ten ducks a quackin', nine acres burning,  eight kitty cats, seven crazy [fill in our last name], six half-breed chicks, five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eleven lice a itchin', ten ducks a quackin', nine acres burning,  eight kitty cats, seven crazy [fill in our last name], six half-breed chicks, five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,  my true love gave to me twelve brand new friends, eleven lice a itchin', ten ducks a quackin', nine acres burning,  eight kitty cats, seven crazy [fill in our last name], six half-breed chicks, five gold campiens,  four girls in a row, three bourbon reds, two guinea fowl and a red neck Christmas tree."

I hope you had a very Merry Christmas,  and you have a wonderful new year of adventures ahead...and let me know if you come up with your own version!

       

Easy Sugar Cookies (even if they're gluten-free)

           Maybe you're like me and you have family members or friends who are allergic/can't tollerate gluten. Here's a great recipe that you can make either with or without wheat this holiday season. Going out of your way to make something special for a family with allergies can make the best present of all for Christmas...seriously. However, that's extra special if it's actually delicious. Trust me. This recipe is and is totally worth it. I just adapted it this past Thursday with great success.
            This past week we went Christmas caroling with other homeschoolers at a local nursing home with other. Each family made a two dozen cookies to decorate together before we went caroling. I knew Mr. Blue Eyes would be confused by not sharing in the sugar sprinkling revelry. I mean, what almost two year old doesn't love cookies;  so I combined all the ingredients for this recipe except for the flour. I divided the mixture in half and added unbleached wheat flour (half of the original amount, of course) to one batch and gluten-free flour (I like the Betty Crocker brand because it isn't gritty and super affordable at Wal-Mart) plus one teaspoon of xanthan gum. I mixed and baked the gluten-free mix first and then used the same beaters and cookie sheet for the wheat batch. It turned out wonderfully. Half-pint stumbled onto this recipe shortly after we moved here, and we merely added a teaspoon of salt to the batter to make it better than any other sugar cookies we've ever had. I think the saltiness adds to the contrasting sweetness. Here's the link for the original recipe that we adapted: Easy Sugar Cookies.
           Enjoy this gem!

Easy Sugar Cookies

1 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
(Or 2 3/4 cups gluten-free flour plus 2 teaspoons xanthan gum)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Directions:
1) Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and vanilla.

2) Gradually blend in baking soda, and baking powder and salt. Divide the dough at this point if desiring to make half with wheat and half with gluten-free flour. Add 1 cup plus 6 T. of gluten-free flour (plus 1 teaspoon of xanthum gum) to one half. Add the same amount of unbleached wheat flour to the other half. Otherwise just add the full amount of flour (and additional xanthan gum if it's gluten-free).

3) Roll rounded teaspoonfuls of dough into balls, and place onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden. Let stand on cookie sheet two minutes before removing to cool on wire racks.

   

Broken-Hearted

          "Don't believe her (mom). She told me the same thing about my baby blanket, and I'm still waiting." Hearing those words come out of Half-pint's mouth was enough to make me want to grab and eat an entire bag of Ghiradelli chocolate chips...or two. My heart plummeted. Gracie had already asked me at least a hundred times to sew up the hole in her stuffed Harley's ear; and, no, I'm actually not exaggerating.  Gracie is the squeekiest,  noisy "wheel" in our household of seven. I kept putting her off. I kept saying "I will fix the ear when I have time." That's the same thing my 10-year-old has been hearing for six years about a knitting project I began shortly after Carrie was born. It's the same excuse, just a different situation.  It hurt to hear my jaded daughter talk about her lack of trust. I don't remember what age I was when I realized my mom didn't hang the moon, but that feeling of distrust grew and clung on until I hit motherhood.  That's when I matured enough to realize how unfair and selfish I had been as a kid.
        Now there is the replay of distrust in my own family.  There is always something that comes between me and the things I intend to do. Sometimes it a major life upheaval that buries my promise like packing and unpacking twice in two years. Sometimes it the addition of a new baby and being incapable to sit for 15 minutes straight to knit and purl the hundred and twenty-eight stitches to complete a row in her "baby" blanket (I've had two babies since I began this project). Sometimes it is simply the lure of baking fresh cookies that are more appealing than completing a project that has already taken more time than it should've. It did take me roughly ten years to finish my hubby's blanket though, so maybe it's not that far overdue. I could remind Half-pint of this fact, but something tells me that wouldn't make her feel better. After all, here I am blogging when I could be knitting.  I tend to get all philosophical and think about how someday she will understand how unfair she is being.  I have a lot on my plate. I live in the land of the urgent, but unimportant...demands for water lid removals, and moans of help with writing "hundredth", and screams of accidents in the bathroom, or watching the snot run down, almost past, our one-year-old's lip.  Still, my mommy heart grieves the loss of her trust. It hurts, just as I have hurt her by letting her down.
            This past weekend, this failure came to my mind as I was asking God to help me examine what I should confess before partaking in communion (I'm not down with the whole 1 Cor. 11:30 sickness/"sleeping" issue...I like a clean slate). At first, I just apologized for the hurt I had inflicted on Half-pint. Her blanket just hasn't been a priority. The more I thought about it, the more I thought that maybe I was to use this to point her to God. Everyone in life disappoints us, but God is perfect. Maybe I needed to capitalize on that. My heart wasn't in that though. The honest truth is that I am disappointed with God at times. He is perfect, but it's hard to remember that when I sometimes feel like the old (introverted) woman who lived in a shoe who had so many children that she didn't know what to do...and she homeschools them.  Our home isn't perfect (it's cozy), but God put me here for a reason. I have a lot of kids (that I asked for... and one I didn't), but I truly love them and being their mom. I know that God gave them to me for a reason besides making me more tolerant of noisy, small spaces like our van rides. It'd just be easier if He told me why all the time, but that would require no faith.
           That's when it dawned on me. I have been acting like a hurt ten-year-old, demanding my finished blanket. I want to know it all right now, not once my life is finished. God isn't too busy for me, but He definitely has a different sense of timing than I do. When I allow my doubts to cloud my view of His goodness, it hurts Him just as deeply as it did me when Half-pint voiced her loss of confidence. He knows the future and the good that will come from my struggles (Jer. 29:11). God wants me to trust Him no matter what (Prov. 3:5-6).  Feeling the pain of Half-pint's disappointment brought it home for me. I had to apologize to God for doubting Him, His goodness,  and His perfect timing...and hurting Him.
            Life has felt overwhelming lately, especially with the holiday season. I don't understand it all, but I trust that God does. It's time to wait patiently. My blanket's not finished. In the meantime, maybe I'll knit a little more and make someone else's heart happy.

Pumpkin Bars

            Fall is amazing. I LOVE the colors of the changing leaves, but also the cooling temps. More than anything, I love the food...pumpkin pies, hot apple cider, s'mores over an open fire. Some of these things have become more challenging with certain family member's sensitivity to gluten. This year I converted a favorite family recipe for pumpkin bars. I used to work in a hospital (pre-kiddos), and I have to say that particular bunch knew how to make really good food! My recipe for this is a copy of a handwritten fax...we had to beg our co-worker for the recipe. I substituted 2 cups of gluten-free flour plus 2 teaspoons of xanthan gum for the 2 cups of all-purpose wheat flour. They have been declared but all seven members of our family...delicious!!

Enjoy this recipe suitable for both wheat lovers and the gluten-free:

Pumpkin Bars

4 eggs
1 2/3 cups sugar
1 cups oil
1-16 oz. can of pumpkin
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups of all-purpose flour (or 2 c. of gluten-free flour plus 2 teaspoons of xanthan gum)

Combine the ingredients in the order listed (or you can separately combine the dry ones first before adding to the wet, but I personally think it's the mix companies trying to discourage us from making things from scratch by making us add an extra dirty dish to an already overwhelming counter).  Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Top with cream cheese icing when cooled and store the cake in the refrigerator.

Cream Cheese Icing

1-3 oz. package of cream cheese
1/2 cup of butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups of powdered sugar

Grin and Bear It

             My stomach wound into tight knots as we drove into the parking garage at the children's hospital for yet another visit to the pediatric rheumatologist. It may have been a week ago, but I remember vividly the feeling of defeat. This was the last place I wanted or expected to be. I kept telling myself that it was a blessing to have an expert to help us, but I was dreading what she would say. Just ten days after getting an all-clear from Lyme Disease,  Half-pint started complaining of pain in her knee again.  Within three days, both knees and ankles (plus one heel) were excruciatingly painful. I dialed up the rheumatologist's office and took the soonest appointment, which was a Thursday. The morning of our appointment, I read Psalm 42. Verse 6  starts by saying, "O my God, my life is cast down upon me [and I find the burden more than I can bear!]...I wrote "Lyme Disease relapse" in the margin along with the date. Just the thought of what was ahead was too much to bear. I felt let down to think that we were starting all over again with the disease. Yes, I know life could definitely be worse,  but at the time this felt too big for me. I had made the mistake of looking at information on-line about Lyme reoccurance and life-long struggles.
           The rest of Psalm 42:6 says,"...therefore will I [earnestly] remember You from the land of the Jordan [River] and the [summits of Mount] Hermon, from the little mountain Mizar." Basically that part of the verse is encouraging us to remember what God is capable of. I personalized this part of the verse by saying "... therefore will I [earnestly] remember You from the parking lot of the orthodontist and the kitchen in need of a crockpot, with the little mountain of uncooked beans." You probably don't know the story from the parking lot, so here it goes.
            Back in May my hubby and I talked to two "experts" in the orthodontic field. Both agreed that Mary suffered from severe overcrowding,  but their treatments were considerably different. The more experienced one felt that two permanent teeth needed to be pulled by an oral surgeon as well as having an "impacted" tooth bared to attach a gold chain to it (to drag it down). He also recommended an expander. From my orthodontic knowledge, an expander equals a LOT of pain. Did I mention that all my friends use the more experienced doctor (as well as my brother who lives in the area)? The other orthodontist said there was no need for an expander with the "self-ligating" braces (Damon braces) he used. We didn't need to pull any permanent teeth. He felt that if he made room for it, the other tooth would naturally drop without intervention. We looked at some very convincing before and after photos on Facebook. Is it any suprise that we liked the "less pain", "less intervention", "less cost" plan of the latter orthodontist......at the risk of following advice from the less experienced expert? I wondered if the other orthodontist was right though when he said the tooth would "never" descend on it's own. Her braces went on in June.  In October, our orthodontist told us that we shouldn't wait any longer. We should uncover that stubborn tooth with a laser at her next appointment (so we could pull it down into alignment).  My logical brain said, "He WAS wrong, but at least we don't have an oral surgeon bill." The panic on my daughter's white-as-a-sheet face told me that logic was unhelpful at this point. She was freaking out as only a twelve year old with a huge imagination can. At that point in the parking lot, we prayed and asked God to do what one orthodontist thought was impossible and what our current orthodontist was done waiting for (the dental assistant explained to us that they had waited for over six months for her son's stubborn tooth to drop with no success...which increased his treatment time). A few weeks later when Mary told me her tooth had emerged (and far lower on the gum-line than it was in May), I grabbed her hands and did a hoppy, ring-a-round-rosey dance for several minutes. This victory is what my mind went back to that morning that I knew we would be facing bad news.
          It built my faith. It gave me hope. It gave me the courage to declare that I trusted God to be capable in this problem as well. It gave peace in my heart even though my stomach refused to cooperate. I expected the worse for Half-pint,  but the rheumatologist surprised me. There was no swelling with her pain,  which meant no Lyme Disease. The fact that it was bilateral and in additional places was a result of the weather and a little thing called hyper mobility,  which can be treated with physical therapy not medication. Her heel pain was a normal symptom of growing. She was not diseased. She is just growing and extra flexible. 
          Still, we are having to manage her pain. It has to be consistent for three weeks before it can be diagnosed as "chronic pain". Aleve and Advil don't touch the pain, but we found some essential oils that do the trick (lemongrass,  wild orange,  lemon,  and frankinscense are her favorites). Within seconds,  she feels relief. Right now, we are just waiting for our next step...but we're grinning because we know we are not alone.
          
         

Pure Crockery

            It's the little things that can get me seriously down...like a broken crockpot. No, I didn't break it by shoving the pictured turkey in it either...it cooked just fine with the toaster to hold the lid on. I got a large 7.5 quart oval crockpot for my birthday many years ago, and I probably use it twice a week (here's my most recent favorite recipe for Mongolian Beef). Late this spring the knob on the lid broke, leaving a screw and gasket to seal the lid. At first I just used a potholder to gingerly grab the hot screw and remove the lid when needed. After forgetting to use a potholder a couple of times the need to solve this problem became more urgent. Still, who wants to replace an entire appliance when a small part is broken?  A review on Amazon touted that a certain knob they sold would universally fit all crockpots. Well, it did not.
            I continued to use it and occasionally get burned this summer.  Then, the pot itself broke apart a few weeks ago. I know that you might be scratching your head as to why I don't just go out and buy a new one.  Earlier this summer, my hubby asked me to exercise a little extra frugality as we had a some extra expenses with Mary getting braces, adding twenty plus fowl (which have started producing egg income), and managing twenty plus acres of hay.  If you add into the equasion karate lessons, a theatre production, and additional housing for our added birds, balancing other areas of spending just makes sense. I like to do my part, so that meant looking for a creative solution to the crockpot conundrum.  Besides, I get a real thrill from a great deal. I think it's in my blood...you should hear me talk with my mom and brother. We get really animated when we talk about $3 pairs of jeans or $1 necklaces or inexpensive soy lecithin. (My brother sent me a picture of super cheap gluten-free brownie mix from Sam's, and I was thrilled at the prospect.)
           I decided to check a local thrift store,  carefully asking God to put a crockpot there for me.  I was convinced that the thrift store was His idea since I coicidentally got behind a thrift store pick-up truck after pondering where resale stores were around here. Mary typed the number into my phone for me, and I called later to see if they had the much-desired crockpot. The first visit brought nine more bowls into our possession (any idea how much gets broken with five kids and a tile floor). However, there was no crockpot to be purchased that day, but I resolved to check again as they "are always getting some in". I had made a commitment to bringing chilli for our "Grace-Based Parenting" study several weeks back, not knowing that I would no longer possess a usable crockpot. The day before our study arrived, and I was convinced that God would provide one at the thrift store. I stopped and found no crockpot;  but I was only mildly disappointed because I did find a tricycle to replace a broken one for Mr. Blue Eyes of the exact same model (that was sturdy enough to survive through five kids). It retails for $54, and I found it there for $10. Score! At that point, I tried to reach my sister-in-law to see if I could borrow her pot, but I couldn't get a hold of her. I had thought about posting a "ISO large, used crockpot" on Facebook,  but most of the people I'm friends with love their's as much as I love mine...so I decided on option D) Kohl's.
          I had a thirty percent off coupon for Kohl's,  so I headed there and bought a new one for twenty dollars.  That's not bad, but nothing to call my mom and get excited about either. I felt a little stupid...for not planning better or something,  I guess. I felt like a failure. It's the little things like this that can haunt me. The next night when I related my story to the other fellow chilli maker, she said that oddly enough she had extra pot and cover (the switch on her base had broken). She offered it to me because she said that I could probably use an extra crockpot more than her. Then, I really felt like I should've posted it on Facebook because we are friends...but who knows if she would've seen the post. When I went home and cleaned up the crockpot,  I noticed a huge flaw on the brand new pot. I would've normally just exchanged it; but in light of this gently used pot coming my way, I happily returned the flawed crockpot.  Satan tries to make us feel dumb and like we totally messed up. The whole time God knew exactly what my need was and how to supply it.
           When I picked up the pot from my friend, there was another surprise awaiting me in the pot. She had thrown a shirt from her daughter in there. She didn't know it, but my daughter needed a tan shirt for a dress rehearsal (she was a lion cub) two days from then. Any guess as to the color of the shirt? Yup, it was a perfect lion cub tan.
            I'm reading "Living Courageously", and Joyce Meyer talks about  "the fear of lack". I can definitely identify with this. I constantly wonder if we'll have enough time, money, resources,  etc. There are times when I feel like I've somehow messed up and missed what God was telling me to do. I wonder if because of that mistake I'm doomed to not have what I need. I know I felt like that after buying the crockpot. Joyce talks about one of the names of God: El Shaddai. (I'm instantly taken back to an old Amy Grant song that I loved. Who's with me?!) El Shaddai means the God of more than enough. She talks about God being that God of abundance. She says, "You might say, 'I thought we were supposed to be content with what we have.' You are right, we are to be content and that means satisfied to the point where we are not disturbed no matter what our circumstances are. But that does not mean that we should not trust God to improve our situation and provide for us abundantly." I was worried about one thing, but God orchestrated three things. God is truly able to do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask and think..." (Ephesians 3:20), and He did it this past month for me.  Because of His continued generosity, "I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Psalm 34:1)

Finding My Courage Among Other Lost Things

          There are things things that scare me and then there are things that truly annoy me. Most people don't know this about me, but losing one peice of any game or puzzle...or kid's toy...ahem...is almost enough to put me on edge permanently. Most of the kid's toys we own have multiple peices, so motherhood has been a little rough on my obsession with wholeness. I will often spend half an hour (in vain, might I add) looking for one missing Little People horse, so I can put him in the barn and hear the satisfying whiny from shutting the gate of his full paddock. I used to lie awake at night haunted by missing toys. We lost the 5th cup in a stacking set of eight cups for four years. (Just think of how crucial that number is in building a tower!) I'm not sure how many hours of sleep I lost from that one. We found the cup several years later in the bottom of our couch. I've gotten better at accepting that things will inevitably turn up; and nowadays, most of the time, I can just let it go.
            Recently, I had one that I couldn't. Remember the book I'm reading about fear? I haven't been able to find it for almost three weeks now! How am I suppososed to get over this issue if I can't find my book?! I asked God, and that's when He reminded me that He actually wrote the best book on fear, EVER, the Bible. For my birthday (a week ago), I got just what I wanted: a new Turquoise leatherette Joyce Meyer Everyday Life Bible, brimming with "life points" and study thoughts. I decided to start using the new Bible's study section on fear. I've been writing down the verses listed and meditating on them. Guess what? I still find my heart racing at times, but when I remember the verse for the day it does help my panic deflate a notch. Psalms 91:4 is a favorite verse that I meditated on this past week.  It says, "[Then] He will cover you with His pinion, and under His wings shall you trust and find refuge; His truth and faithfulness are a shield and a buckler. " I love the mental imagery of a bird's protection. I've seen first-hand how protective mother birds are of their young, so I especially love this verse.
          A funny thing happened right after I wrote this. I found my book. When I lose something, I typically look where I think I left it. If I can't find it, I pray that God will show me where it is (this is what my mother modeled for me). I usually always have a place come to mind, and I almost always find lost things. I kept feeling like it was under my bed, but I'd already looked there at least twice. I looked again and this time I saw it along with three other things that had been lost (one since the beginning of September). Later while getting out my purse, I found a power cord that had been lost since February. On our way home from church, Carrie said the best thing about her day was finding her Bible. Gracie said the best thing was finding her two sunglasses. We had found those things in the morning, and I didn't start this post until this afternoon.  Before I had even started this post, God had begun uncovering lost items. It was without fail the overriding theme of my day.
          Little things can frustrate me; but some lost things can threaten to bury a person, things like lost hope. We have moved to very hilly country,  and Half-pint has complained of headaches nearly every time we driven on them for the past year. We've tried essential oils, moving her to the front seat of the van, and even feeding her proteins vs. carbs before car rides. We tried her pediatrician's suggestions and our chiropractor's suggestion with no luck. The headaches have persisted, prompting her to beg for days to stay home. There many times that I wondered if we were crazy for moving out here. Half-pint had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to assess how effective the antibiotics were against the Lyme's disease that she was diagnosed with in September. Our trip to the office was tense for me because I've heard many people talk about trouble with the antibiotics working for Lyme disease and/or the long term effects. I was totally relieved to hear her doctor say that we didn't need to come back EVER (unless her symptoms returned).  Other than a few extra tummy aches, she tolerated the antibiotics really well. I'm beyond relieved that God has fully healed her. Half-pint told me that it doesn't hurt anymore to move or run, so she can once again play games in the AWANA program we go to. That was beautiful news, but the thing that made my heart sing the most was hearing her say her headaches have all but disappeared as well. Apparently,  that was tied into the Lyme disease as well.
              It felt like God was saying, "I hear your prayers; and as you continue to believe that I hear them and will move on your behalf, you will find more than just some lost items. You will find your courage to face each challenge,  no matter how big. I am BIGGER than all of your problems. You may still feel the fear, but it will not define you if you remember who I am." Proverbs 29:25 says, "The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever leans on, trusts in, and puts his confidence in the Lord is safe and set on high."
            When the Little People horse mysteriously showed up at the rug by our front door today, I knew that it was no accident.  It was a gift and a reminder not to lose hope...God is with me.