Friday, September 14, 2012

The planner

     I told you that I like to plan out my future. Would it surprise you to know that I starting planning a trip to Disney for this fall back in 2007? Now there are a lot of challenges regarding the trip.  The discounted tickets that I had planned on seem to be an impossibility because of the dates they are offered. Being pregnant was really not how I planned on going to Disney.  I had been looking forward to at least a couple of roller coaster rides, but that has all changed. As my pregnancy ticks away, my time of being more independent feels like it is quickly slipping away.
      A lot of times I find myself clinging to the familiarity of my plans instead of anticipating the good things that are still in store for me. It is difficult for me to accept when we don't complete what I had laid out for us to finish on our homeschooling planners. However, some of the most memorable moments of learning (that I know my children will carry with them the rest if their lives) have come when I am not trying to be control our schedule-times that I can see them hanging on my every word.
     It is hard to control the panic I feel when we are late for yet another appointment,  even if it is only by a couple of minutes. In the last month, I've realized what a difference it makes in my childrens attitude when God is able to help me keep my emotions in check and not holler about the fact that we are 5 minutes late. We've late several times in the past month, and they are completely oblivious to it. They walk in smiling instead of trying to keep up with my frantic pace.
     Planning is great to give direction and purpose; but without flexibility, it is just one more thing to be enslaved to. It is supposed to be helpful, not run our lives. My goal is becoming to plan for each day , but to enjoy it if my plans fall apart, knowing the Creator of the universe is really in charge of my life. I don't want it any other way.

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