Taming of the Two

                Sometimes you get a wake-up call…a little slap in the face.  I recently got that in the form of a comment from my mom.  I’m thankful that she can honestly tell me things out of love when she notices something is off.  I’m by nature an empathetic person, but sometimes I go a little overboard.  Lately, I’ve noticed a lack of politeness in my 2 and 4 year olds.  My older two just need a simple word, and they shape right up…but apparently I have been indulging my youngest two a little too much.  Some of it is normal, but some of it is over the top. 

                I do not think it is too much to expect of my two (soon to be three in a couple of months) year old to change her commands into requests.  I hate hearing, “Get me more water!”  I used to be delighted with her vocabulary…now I’m thinking it’s time to get her trained to be a little more polite by rephrasing it into, “Mommy, could you get me a drink of water, please?”  I don’t expect her to come up with this on her own though, so I will guide her by having her repeat after me.  The whining of my four year old has also become incessant.  This, I’ve realized, is mainly because she is trying to get my attention above the other three people asking for my attention…and this really annoys me.  Thus, she usually gets a response.  I’m going to try to stop this by asking the other three kids to be quiet and let her speak.  She rarely whines when it is just the two of us or in a quiet setting (same thing with my 2 year old commando).  I actually think both of these responses have more to do with needing attention than anything.  I naturally follow a command more closely than a request; however, it is really inappropriate since I’m supposed to be the boss.  We’ve had a few heart to heart talks about this; and although my expectations are changing for both of them in this area, I think that it’s completely appropriate for their age.

                Also, a wise friend has pointed out that I need to phrase my corrections positively.   I used to say, “Don’t yell!” However, it would be better to say, “Can you speak more quietly?” or “Please, say that nicely.”  She said that kids visualize in their head what you say, so they will visualize the negative and naturally do more of that with that image in their head.  If you phrase it positively, they will picture the positive request in their head and have an easier time doing it.

                What do you think?  What are your expectations for your child?  I’d love to hear your input in the comments below!