Follow the Leader

I've been following someone for nearly all my life.  First it was my parents, and then willingly I followed whomever I was dating, and eventually, I followed my husband.  Most of this was pretty easy for me.  I like to make people happy.  It didn't really become difficult for me until I became a mother and his choices affected more than just me.  Then I became pretty convinced that there were some things that my husband was wrong on.  I tried to change his mind on many things without much success. Slowly, I became convicted that it wasn't my job to change him or try to lead the family when I thought he was wrong.  However, my resolve usually gets tested whenever I decide that I need to stop doing something.

A few years ago, he purchased a vehicle that I disagreed with.  Every time I looked at, it made me angry.  Every time I sat in it, I fumed over all the bad qualities.  Every time I saw a receipt related to it, I felt justified in my stance.  Finally in tears, I talked to a dear friend (who is wiser and has been married many more years than I) about this.  I asked her if I would ever get over this, or if I'd always feel hurt when I looked at this stupid vehicle.  I was tired of feeling this way.  She calmly explained that I needed to give this to God, and quit praying for God to make my husband see it my way.  She empathized with my pain and told me that she knew how hard it was for me.  She told me to start praying for God to change me into the woman that my husband needed to help him fulfill his calling.  This was my role.  I was to be his indispensable helper that completed him, and encouraged him—to be his cheerleader.   Ultimately, it wasn’t about trusting my husband, but trusting God.   He is the one who leads my husband, and the one who works all things together for my good even when I can’t see what is good about it right away.   (Ephesians 5 is great at laying out both the husband and the wife’s role.)

Guess what?  God answered my prayers.  I now smile when I see that vehicle, and several times it has been very helpful to me.  I can see the good in it, and I’m glad that he bought it.  My husband recently told me that he thought I had changed a lot in the past year (in a good way).  He said that a year ago I might have said that I’d be willing to move anywhere with him, but that I would have been really nervous about it.  Now, he said that I can say it and really mean it.  That is a huge compliment, and it meant a lot to hear him say it because he is a very honest guy. 

For the record, he is an amazing man to follow.  His problem-solving skills are second to none and our children love their shirts that say “My daddy can fix anything” because it is true.  Beyond that, I’ve seen how wonderful our life has been in the past year when I’ve let go, and let him walk in the role he was born to fulfill.