Day 4: The Other Side

      Well, you already know I'm listening to Mandisa a lot lately.  Her song "These Days" especially speaks to me today. It talks about all the things she doesn't like such as Mondays, bad news, lost keys or long flights; but ultimately God uses these tough days to grow her...and He is constantly with her showing her His love. She concludes how she is thankful for "these days" and for every moment God gives her. (see James 1:2-4) While typing this, Little Miss Potty-Trainer had another accident. I'm not sure if I'm yet at the point to love this moment,  but I'm not angry.
       One huge thing that impacts my anger tollerance is my marital relationship. It's probably honestly more influencial than any of the other triggers I mentioned. Last Tuesday when I mentioned we were adding three people to our feast, my hubby said, "Well, lets get another turkey." Too which I quipped that it was too late to thaw a turkey, but he graciously offered to take care of buying a fresh turkey and would even fry it. I really felt we should just stick with our original turkey since I had ordered it to be large, so we'd have leftovers. We'd be fine with it. He explained that he loved extra turkey, and he'd be happy to help out....it didn't have to all be on me. Side note: I don't like to ask for help, and this wasn't my idea. I started fuming inside. I hate to present myself as being unresonable; but honestly looking back, I can see I was clearly being a bit stubborn.
     He had no idea that earlier in the day I had spent a good amount of time reorganizing the refrigerator; but when he began unloading beverages from a cooler into my neatly organized refrigerator after his suggestion of adding another turkey, I began to see red.    
      Unfortunately, I couldn't see things objectively at the time and simply say, " Hey, could you keep those in the cooler, so I have more room in the fridge?" I felt like I was going to scream if I spoke. It was also time to eat, so I couldn't run off and avoid him till I cooled off. He also at some point mentioned that he actually thought we would have included a few more members of his family in our invite. He was simply stating it (as he later clarified), but I felt like he was saying I had failed which felt unfair to me since I didn't know until that moment that he wanted us to invite them. If I were a cartoon character,  there would have been steam rolling out of my ears.
      I'm not a confrontor. I'm a stuffer. It was probably a good thing that I couldn't run away because within a few moments my hubby picked up on my feelings and addressed them. I wish I could've magically had the mind of Christ, and seen the other side of the issue. After talking about it, I felt a little better. Two of my kids had been sick for the past 3 days, which as all mom's know can make you a little sleep deprived and sensitive. Add to that my current large belly (I'm 29 weeks prego) and the stress if hosting a meal (despite truly wanting to do it). I was a bit of a sitting duck. I wish I could say I rose above it all, but I didn't.
     Had my hubby not confronted me head on, I would've probably taken my frustration out on my kids that evening and possibly the following day even. Lovely, huh? When my hubby recently expressed his ideas about starting/purchasing a business and asking if I'd be open to helping with it, my first response was not joy that he'd want to work with me. I felt overwhelmed.  I don't want to think about any additional responsibility right now. We are having a baby in 8-11 weeks, and I homeschool while balancing our household's food, laundry, budget, and health needs. I waited for a long time before responding to hubby about his thoughts. He'd sent me a text message with his idea, so I prayed before responding (which helped a lot). Later when he spoke to me, he could tell I was burdened by it and told me not to worry about it. As I ran, I asked  God to help me leave my feelings on the treadmill and not let them affect our day of school.  It was all totally out of my control anyway. He answered my prayer, and there was no yelling that day. As I have listened to my hubby's thoughts about businesses, it has been easier to see the other side (which is my best defense in marital differences). When you see the other side it can totally change how you feel. I have to daily pray for the gift of perspective.
     How do you deal with marital or even friendship differences? I love the comments you are leaving. Thanks for sharing.