Roller Coaster Rides

     As we have looked at going to Disney for this fall, one of my biggest disappointments has been that it will be unsafe for me to go on any roller coaster rides because I'm pregnant.  This strikes me as just a bit ironic because my life since finding out I am pregnant has felt a lot like roller coaster ride. However, there is no sign that says women aren't allowed on the roller coaster of life.  When we moved into our house, I felt like we had arrived at our destination. I wanted to just sit back and enjoy the cotton candy after the ride we had earlier this year.
     Most of you are not aware of the roller coaster ride I have been on this past week. You know about my high point of finding out about having a little boy, but this past week has had a couple of lows as well. There have been some developments with my husbands job, so that it now appears to be just another stop along the way...not a permanent resting place as I had hoped. I'm not sure if this means another move is in order or not.  Emotionally this is challenging to me especially as a pregnant woman. I don't want to think about change. I want to nest.
     It takes a conscious choice to decide to think about the positives this situation.  I must admit that I've felt discouraged at times. A week ago on Tuesday I felt myself slowly sinking into a dark pit of depression, despite having just spent a whole weekend of positivity all about hope at the Love Life Women's Weekend. It has been a battle. Looking back at last week, I'm amazed at how quickly I forgot about the amazing ways God has provided for us. How could I ever doubt him when God has been so faithful to me?
     Saturday,  I went on a walk just to be quiet and listen to God as part of a Bible study I'm doing this fall called "Experiencing God". I found a bright red feather on the side of the path and despite hearing my mother's voice in my head telling me all the tiny bugs that were on it, I turned around and picked it up.  I said to God laughingly, "Are you preparing me for flight?" In my heart, I felt this strong impression that although I'd gone on a huge roller coaster last week that He wanted to show me how to fly when it got too overwhelming for me (like when I felt like I was sinking into depression). "Very good!", I said, "but how?" Instantly, my mind was taken back to when I learned how to cross-country ski.  One of the first things the instructor said was to look where you wanted to go. If you look at the ditch or the tree, that is where you'll end up. However, if you keep your eyes on the path your body will follow. In order to fly when I am sinking, all I have to do is lift my head up and take my eyes off my circumstances. If I fix my eyes on Jesus, I can feel my heart lifting up.
     This doesn't mean I won't go through the valleys of life. As a good friend pointed out, that's where God can really teach us. When it gets too overwhelming though, that's when I can change my focus and fly instead of sinking into the pit of despair.
      Mentally, I can picture my hubby and I in the front car of the roller coaster we're on. Jesus is sitting between both of us. I can picture Him slapping my husband on the back and grinning--maybe even letting out a little whoop of excitement as we slowly go upward toward the next hill. I can picture Him looking at the concern on my face, and leaning over to help me raise my hand to hold my hubby's already lifted hands. He then wraps His arms around my pregnant belly to provide extra protection from the bumps and hills ahead and whispers in my ear, "It's going to be ok! I will never leave you or forsake you." Click, click, click...here we go.