Daddy's Girl

My husband is an amazing father to my children.  Despite the fact that his father hasn’t been involved in his life from the time that he was a young child, he has an uncanny knack for being an amazingly in-tune father.  The kids run into his arms with yells of “Daddy!!” every night, and he always takes time to listen to them.  He makes it a priority to take each of them on dates at least monthly and really get to know their hearts.  I’ve never seen him turn them down when they’ve asked him if they can help him with a project…despite the fact that it takes him much longer with their “help”.  People regularly remark at what a wonderful father he is, especially when they learn about his background.  He’s told me before that he just treats them the way that he would want to be treated if he were a kid.  It’s really worked great!  I really admire him, and he is THE man that we celebrate on Father’s Day.  I’m so grateful that my girls have an awesome dad to be a part of their lives.

Two years ago, I fell into a deep pit of depression because I realized that no one would ever look at me again the way my husband looks at our girls.  I cried out to God telling Him how unfair it was not to have my father anymore, or even to have another man take his place.  To this day, I still don’t understand why he was taken from me when I was only 13.  After I read the book “Captivating” by Staci and John Eldredge, I realized how much God wanted to personally meet the longing of my heart for a father.  When I began looking for the ways he was reaching out to me as a father, I was overwhelmed by His love and extravagance…the parking space close to the store just when I needed it, the compliments from perfect strangers on the day that I felt like the worst mom in the world, and my favorite color of flowers in the landscape as we traveled on mother’s day last month. The day I had the positive pregnancy test, I had to giggle as I heard an automated message reminding me of an appointment for the following day that I had made with my midwife a year ago.  I had no idea that I would be pregnant a year ago, but God did.  I believe the timing was no coincidence. 

It might be the pregnancy, or just the fact that Father’s Day is only a few days away, but I’ve had a hard time not crying when I think about my father over the past couple of days.  He died over 20 years ago, and I still feel a little pain.  The hardest part of it all is how important he is to me and how few of the people around me even know him.   So let me tell you a little about him:     He was a pastor, and he hosted a radio show on our local station for over 10 years called “The Friend in the Night” where he played bluegrass gospel music.    Only a few people know that he actually played at the Grand Ole Opry (where he met Loretta Lynn).  Besides being an amazing musician, he was a fantastic dad.  He always made time to talk to me when I needed to talk, and every night he would interrupt any phone conversation to give me a kiss good night. God has been so good to me that I have no real reason to complain.    Many of my friends have shared stories about how awful their dads were…but I feel blessed to have such sweet memories from my childhood.  Maybe that is why I still have days like today when I miss him so much.