Week 2: The Park Bench Pull

     I come from a long line of grudge holders. We secretly stew for months or even years waiting for the perfect moment to exact our revenge. Clearly, this is not what God wants us to do. He is the only one who can bring justice.
Sometimes when I find myself angry, it is directly related to a hurt that I haven't forgiven. Joyce Meyer always talks about how unforgiveness only hurts you, not the person you are angry at. I have a hard time remebering this. If Satan can convince me to rehearse a hurt over and over in my head, I'm like a bomb waiting to explode. The unintentional things my children do like accidentally putting the footstool on my toes is easy for me to forgive. It's when it is a repeat offense that I have a harder time letting go (like consistently forgetting to turn off the lights or laying jackets throughout the house instead of hanging them up--arghh!).
     It's funny how I started this post yesterday,  and the sermon today was all about how to have peace in your life. Guess what the topic was? Forgiveness. Our pastor used the illustration that when we carry a grudge against someone, it is like chaining yourself to a park bench that the offender sits on. We get exhausted from dragging it all around (I have done this extensively--hense my irritable temperament) while they in essence get a free ride. When you choose to forgive, you actually are choosing freedom for yourself. You release yourself from the park bench.
   A couple of years ago, God began working on me to start letting go of my hurts, and it really helped me with my temper. The problem is that I still continue to get hurt almost on a weekly basis if not daily basis. I'm a little sensitive, I guess. My hubby used to jokingly tell me that I'm "tender fresh-cut peas" just like it says on the frozen peas packaging. It's a good habit to get into to daily ask God to bring to mind those you need to forgive and those you need to ask forgiveness of. I've fallen out of this practice,  and my temper shows it.
     Our pastor gave some great steps to achieving peace by 1) Pursuing peace (Ps. 34:12), 2) Embracing our own need for grace (Eph 4:32), 3) Acknowledging our pain, 4) Choosing to forgive (Col.3:13), and 5) Extending grace (Rom. 12:14).  What do all those points spell? PEACE. Clever, huh? The point that really convicted me was embracing our own need for grace. He said your flow of forgiveness is always proportional to your awareness of how much God has forgiven you. When I have a hard time of letting something go, I'm concerned with justice. I'm forgetting how much Christ has forgiven me. I needed to hear that today for a proper perspective.
     For the record, I failed this morning when I snapped at my husband about cheese wrappers...how stupid is that?  Getting ready for church is sometimes a testy situation.  We struggle with getting to church on time. Thankfully,  only a few minutes later we were joking around...he doesn't appear to be dragging me around on a park bench. One quote I wrote down from today that seemed applicable given the name of my blog and this post was by Norman Cousins. "Life is an adventure in forgiveness."
     For the following week and rest of my challenge, I will be intentionally starting out my day with asking God who I need to forgive or ask forgiveness of. Let me start out this endeavor by saying, Honey, will you please forgive me for my explosion over the cheese wrappers?