Building a Web

          "How long will it be till I find someone else that likes running?" I asked God this during my morning conversation, but it was more in resignation than a request.  With five kids, I have a hard time keeping my attention focused on a conversation with another adult long enough to know somebody beyond their name let alone their hobbies. I had talked about running with a kind soul at the original church we had attended when we first moved to Missouri (note that this was only possible because four of my five kids were in the children's church). For many reasons, we decided to check out another church a couple of months ago, leaving behind my running connection. I haven't found another nursing room there, let alone another nursing room buddy...but God is not deterred by minor things like my ideas of how something should happen.  A couple hours after that conversation with God, we were at the local library for story time. A mom that I had met the week before at the library started talking to me about running; and before I knew it, Mary and I signed up for our very first 5K (which'll be coming up in just a few weeks). I could easily imagine God chuckling at my surprise. That was really quick answer to pray.
            The thing that has been hardest about moving is leaving behind the support network of moms and families we had in Illinois.  In December,  I remember being sad that the children were still feeling disconnected from having real "friends". I felt a pang of responsibility and guilt. Maybe I made a mistake by continuing to homeschool them. It was hard to have priorities beyond school and unpacking for me this fall. I wanted to feel at home in our home before having people over, but there was a depressive gloom on our girl's faces, especially the older ones. What's a mom to do? Well, I said yes to every e-vite for the monthly homeschooler field trip. I also decided to join a homeschool co-op.  I've never been against co-ops. I just don't like to commit to someone else's schedule (and try to get everyone somewhere on time and prepared with homework and such). I like the flexibility of taking a week off anytime I want and being done as early as May. God heard my cry and protestations. I just happened to show up at AWANA early for pick-up, just happened to meet with a homeschooling mom who hooked me up with one of the founders of a wonderful co-op that has 12 week semester (thus relieving some of my issues with commitment). It has been one of the best experiences of my short teaching career. We've made friends and had playdates, besides being challenged to be a better teacher (like learning what sensory bins are and how to incorporate them...currently Mr. Blue Eyes loves his morning "sensory bin"--our dog's food tub).
           God hasn't stopped with helping me build my "web" of friends.  He's placed two other friends (that also happen to homeschool) in my path that have no connection to the co-op or library time or AWANA. Both of them have their own areas of expertise,  and I've really loved getting to know them better. Sometimes it's hard for me to wait for God's answer to my prayers.  Sometimes I am tempted to think He isn't listening at all, but looking back I am grateful for the timing. Do you really appreciate something unless you truly feel the loss? When I recently read the account of a cripple being healed by Peter and John in Acts 3-4, I was suprised when I read Acts 4:22. It says, "For the man on whom this sign (miracle) of healing was performed was more than forty years old." I wondered what it would feel like to wait more than forty years for my answer to come. He'd been crippled since birth (Acts 3:2). Surely his mom prayed for healing while she cradled him in her arms for the first time or when she realized that he was different from the other children. I imagine his mother was truly grateful for his healing after watching him struggle for so long. The crippled man must have felt happy as well.
            A friend recently asked how I knew different people and had found some connections for various homeschool opportunities after just living here since September.  Later, I realized it was because God had blessed me with placing people right where I could meet them. That's truly an answer to my prayers and an answer to many of your prayers that have come alongside me in the past few months. I was so thankful for all of you who contacted me after my posting about our sickness, offering to pray for us. It connected me to you. It prompted me to start asking others how I could pray for them, which connected me to them. Today, I'm so thankful for the web of support and especially for the One who built it for me.

In Pursuit of Excellence

            I was a little taken back when my daughter finally spewed out what had been stuck in her craw. "You want me to be perfect!" I had no idea this was what was making her so frustrated in her schoolwork. As a homeschooler, the concept of mastery is always a priority to me. After all, I don't want someone showing up to tell me that I'm hurting our children by not making sure they know their x 3's facts well enough (or that they don't know the words to our national anthem). My daughter had translated my desire for "mastery" into a belief that I expected "perfection". I asked her why she thought I wanted her "to be perfect", and she went on to talk about the remediation process I use (if she gets problems wrong, I go back over them with her to make sure she understands why it is wrong and the correct way to do things). I explained that I just wanted to make sure that she understood the concept, but I acknowledged her feeling pressured by me and apologized. Maybe I was guilty of over going through every problem that was wrong, instead of just looking for a pattern in what was wrong. I feel pressure myself and that had translated to her feeling pressure too.
           "Practice makes perfect." I've said that phrase a lot, but I believe what I long for is excellence.  Jill and Kathy do a great job of outlining the difference in their new book coming out today, "No More Perfect Kids". Here are a couple differences that I really liked: "Excellence is something done well. Perfection is something done without fault. Excellence is attainable. Perfection in unattainable. Excellence allows for failure. Perfection punishes failures." If I hadn't been reading this book, I doubt I would've even sat down to listen to Half-pint that night. The night before Carrie was up at 11:30pm till 2:30am with a horrible ear infection,  and Mr. Blue Eyes had woken up early at 4am till he finally went down at 7am...netting me two hours of sleep. I was exhausted, but I knew this was important because of my daughter's tone of voice. Her words drove home the importance of reading this book at this specific time in my life. Honestly, NMPK wasn't easy for me to read because I could see so many problems that I needed work on (maybe that's my perfectionist tendencies kicking in). We do math timings, handwriting books, and grammar exercises. I was unaware of what else was being taught.
           I would encourage you to pick up the book and find some practical solutions with me. If you pick up the No More Perfect Kids book (e-book or hard copy from any brick and mortar store or online retailer) anytime between March 13 (today!) – 23, 2014, you will be eligible to receive over $100 in free resources.

Here’s how it works:

1) Buy the No More Perfect Kids book between March 13 and March 23
2) Scan or take a picture of the receipt
3) email a copy of your receipt to freebies@nmpk-extras.com
4)Within 24 hours your will receipt a reply with a link and password to unlock you free resources!

Here’s what you’ll get:

4 Printables:

You’re Special Poster
I Corinthians 13 for Parents Poster
Compliments and Corrections Booklet by Dr. Kathy Koch
Conversation Starters for Parents and Grandparents Booklet by Dr. Kathy Koch

4 Hearts at Home Audio Workshops:

When You Feel Like Screaming–Sue Heimer
Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid–Shaunti Feldhahn
Raising Grateful Kids–Marianne Miller
Real Ways to Connect with Your Kids–Kathi Lipp​

3 E-Books:

A Perfect Pet for Peyton by Gary Chapman
How Am I Smart by Kathy Koch
The 10 Commandments of Parenting by Dr. Ed Young

There is also a free 13 day challenge to help motivate us to help our kids. I'll be signing up today. I need a daily challenge to get me started on the right foot. Half-pint and the rest of our children will thank us. Want to join me? Click here.

Let's use the next 13 days of bringing excellence into our homes and classrooms, and a lifetime of growing better as a parent.
          

"Uncle!"

           There are some days that just feel like one big fight. By 5pm on Friday evening,  I was totally ready to cry "Uncle!" Mr. Blue Eyes started tossing his cookies and milk at 4 am on Thursday.  We went through no less than six outfits between the two of us. Homeschooling was a disaster between the puking and the mountains of extra laundry that resulted, but he seemed to feel better by the evening and gobbled down some mac 'n cheese. Big mistake.  The next two hours were full of pile after pile (splatter even got on my sheets--which I didn't get to till the following day) of regurgitated mac 'n cheese. The next day brought a couple more rounds of throw-up, but also a fever...and his cough was getting worse.
          At the same time that my sheets were getting splattered, the original daddy duck was loving on his lady and inadvertently hooked his leg on a nail when dismounting. He broke his leg and put his mating season on hold. Friday,  he saw our vet and got a splint on his leg. Due to our vet visit and a couple more rounds of puke, our school work was still not finished by 5pm.
      What happened at 5pm? I finally had the baby down for his first nap of the day, so I opened up my Bible. I was done. I had had it up to my eyeballs. I read John 14:1 which says, "Let not your heart be troubled (dismayed, agitated)..." I paused a moment and let that soak in. It wasn't even a whole verse, but the words refreshed my soul. The verse goes on to say that you should believe in Jesus just like you do God.
           I had no idea that I would be up at 1am the following day throwing up, or that Gracie would start throwing up at 4am (followed by Mary at 6:30am, Carrie at 8pm and Half-pint by 1am the following morning). The scripture kept rattling around in my brain. "Let not your heart be troubled..." With every clean  towel thrown down over Gracie's dirty sheets (where she threw up three times in the first two hours--gone are the days of full sheet changes in between pukes), I thanked God that at least I had stopped puking. In the weakness that comes after puking, I thanked God that at least Mr. Blue Eyes had stopped throwing up and running a fever. As I watched carefully for signs of dehydration,  I still felt His comfort. One phrase can make such a difference. I prayed out for wisdom and sometimes in frustration over the overwhelmingness of it all. I was super thankful for Charles' help through all this, but there were moments that I still wondered if I was doing the right thing. Dehydration and phlegm are bad combos. There was alot of diaper counting, popsickle making and juice given (we polished off our first bottle of Basil Oil and used Doterra's Breathe combo for the cough...which seemed as effective as the nebulizer was when he was diagnosed with pneumonia). Bottom line, it was God's mercy and, I believe, answers to repeated prayers that has gotten us through.

          We have had reason to laugh in the midst of all this though. I started running to Group One Crew's album "Outta Space Love" last month, and the first song on it is "Live It Up". While starting a load of laundry, I started singing lyrics about our bout with the stomach bug. Mary and I have decided to write a full song to that tune. She came up with using "Clean it up!" instead of "Live it up!" We'll let you know if we get the YouTube video up.  On Saturday (in the thick of our puke-a-thon), Mr. Blue Eye's crib rail fell apart. I couldn't help but laugh at our 18 year old crib (yup, it's a second hand beauty). I grabbed my phone and took a picture. They must build cribs expecting most people to stop after 2 or 3 kids. My hubby quickly helped me put it back together temporarily and joked about using duct tape to fix it. That part didn't make me laugh at the time, but today it does seems a little funny. A bit red neck, but funny. Don't worry. We intend to fix it properly.

          Yesterday, I read John 16 and the way the chapter ended seemed so fitting to our situation. I know, everyone has rough weeks...this just happened to be one of mine. If it's your turn, please remember this verse. John 16:31 in the Amplified Version says "I have told you these things,  so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence.  In the world you have tribulations and trails and distress and frustration;  but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident,  certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

Better Than The Son of Poseidon

           I love to read, and I'm getting to explore that even more now that my kids are into books beyond picture driven ones. The most recent series that I've delved into is the "Percy Jackson" series (I really have a huge list to pick from after all the Facebook chatter from this post.) If you're familiar with them, you know that they are based on Greek mythology and that the main character's father is Poseidon...the mythological "god of the sea". I've enjoyed the series and just finished reading the fourth book in the "Heroes of Olympus" series (which I was slightly disappointed with because of views expressed on a couple of topics, but I am looking at it as an opportunity for dialogue about personal beliefs vs. author beliefs). Half-pint LOVES this series, and I have had to put some serious effort into staying ahead of her. After all, I'm the one who borrowed them from the library. I should get to read them first. I am also previewing Jill Savage and Kathy Koch's new book "No More Perfect Kids", which makes for an interesting contrast between fiction for kids and non-fiction about kids.  Everytime I turn around, Half-pint has her nose in the next book. She can be quiet on the couch for hours just reading. I have to admit I'm a touch jealous. I get about ten uninterrupted seconds during the day. Ok. That's a slight exaggeration. However, I did have to literally lock myself in the bathroom one afternoon for five minutes,  so I could could coherently introduce myself to the launch team for Jill and Kathy's book (after two failed attempts in the kitchen with children swirling around my legs and clinging to arms).

            One of the best things about the Percy Jackson series is seeing which "god" each character has as their mother or father. Over the course of the book, you watch the characters discover what powers they have as a result of their "parentage". We were sitting in church a couple of weeks ago, listening to a series on spiritual gifts, when I realized what a perfect intro these books could serve to this topic for them. I asked the girls if they'd ever thought about how they are a child of the one, true God. Just like the characters from these books, they're endowed with gifts from the Holy Spirit when they accept Jesus into their hearts (see 1 Cor. 12:7-11, Romans 12:3-8, and 1 Pet. 4:9-11). When I was young, my parents gave me a test that help me see what gifts I had been given; so I contacted the church we've been attending to see if they had something similar for the girls to take. I read in the book "The Treasure Principle" by Pam Farrell that taking a spiritual gift test around the age of 8 or 9 is great because that's typically an age where we are more "ourselves" and less influenced by others. This has been on my to-do list for a while (Mary, age 11, was four when I read this book). The girls took the test today and were all smiles with the results. (Let me know in the comments below, or e-mail me if you'd like the test we used.) 

          One of my favorite chapters so far from the other book I'm reading ("No More Perfect Kids") is entitled "Who Am I?"- one of the main questions all kids ask themselves (along with every other adult on the planet). It talks about how we can be identified by what we do (like our interests or scholastic achievements) or who we are. I love the idea it gives for affirming you child using a three pronged approach.  First,  you identify the good quality and share this with your child. Next, you give an example of when you saw them displaying this quality. Finally,  you tell them why this is important.  I've used this technique several times this past week on each of our kids (except for Mr. Blue Eyes...one year olds hardly stay still long enough to read a book let alone listen to an affirmation), and they really have responded to it. 

          Here's how it played out yesterday with Half-pint: I told her 1) how I noticed that she was hard-working and showed initiative 2) specifically when I asked for help loading the recyclables in the van. She had a positive up-beat attitude and didn't complain that she was doing more work than her siblings (even though she ended up making more trips than her sister), and she even thought ahead to run down our lane and open the gate. I had asked for her help, so we could get to story time at the library in time. Opening the gate let us exit the property more efficiently (and we were on time for the FIRST time!). I told her 3) this is important because when she gets older her employer or family will appreciate having someone they can depend on to get the job done and to go the extra mile. A strong work ethic is a great asset to any job. 

           I could tell she was really listening to me when I complimented her because when we left the house later in the day (this time for AWANA) she ran all the way down the lane to open the gate for me again without any request from me. The three pronged affirmation worked with my three year old just as well. Her big, brown eyes twinkled when I complimented her on the way she quickly responded to my request this past week. I told it's important to know I can count on her to listen and obey.

          Does this technique work for adults too? I like your enthusiasm to help your kids by considering buying "No More Perfect Kids", but also the patient way you're waiting for the release. This is important because if you wait to purchase it the week of March 14, you'll get $100 worth of freebies. How'd I do?

           In the meantime, try some affirmations and consider giving your kids a test they can pass, helping them realize who they really are: A uniquely gifted child of the "One, True King"...which is way better than being a son of Poseidon. 

The Feeling of Falling

           It happened again Tuesday morning.  I neglected to see the water from the melted snow (that refroze overnight) in our gravel driveway.  You know the pathetic person with their feet up in the air on the wet floor sign? That was what I looked like. Last week, I fell twice (once on ice outside, once in my kitchen) landing on the opposite side of my body. At least, I'm equally bruised. I have a history of clumsiness...and falling. I heard last week that the best way to prevent a fall is to waddle like a penguin. Clearly, I need to test this one out or invest in some whole body padding...my hips and elbows are taking a beating.
           History is one of my favorite subjects because I love understanding the "why" behind events (science is my next favorite subject). I felt a little stupid Tuesday that I hadn't seen the ice as I was scurrying around, trying to switch over car seats. When will I learn from my history to slow down, pay attention,  and waddle? The topic of this Thursday's Blog Hop (sponsored by Hearts at Home) is "Loving Your Feelings".
            Last week a local station did a promo for Valentine's Day that shed a new light on my marital relationship. A pastor was proudly announcing a newlywed couple for the first time as "two who became one". I smiled at the words, remembering my own delight at taking my hubby's name. However,  I rarely think of my hubby and I as being "one" nowadays. It's hard to feel connected to him when I have five very real distractions asking for my attention. He is Charles. I am Caroline.  He works full-time time out of the home.  I work full-time in the home. He enjoys beer. I prefer a glass of wine. He likes to fall asleep to the T.V. The sound of the T.V. makes it almost impossible for me to sleep. He loves to learn as he goes. I love to research an idea for years before hesitantly deciding I should still research it a little longer before trying anything new. There are so many ways that we are exact opposites, and yet we have beem declared "one" person.

            Mark 10:7-9 says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

             I always think about this verse in regards to physical intimacy,  but in reality the verse goes far deeper than that. When my hubby is hurting, do I hurt with him? When he rejoices, do I get excited too? When he has a problem, am I there to really listen? If we are really "one", shouldn't the answer to all three be "yes!"? Honestly it's easy  (but not right) for me to look at his problems as just that: "HIS" problems.  It's easy to say that because we have five children that it's just too hard to find time together and really share each other's burdens. Isn't this whole connecting thing important though? Even with lots of little ones?  Shouldn't they see the way you are to treat your spouse?

             Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

            We are married for a reason. He's supposed to help me up when I'm down,  and I'm supposed to help him up when he's down. How do I get my feelings to match up with the reality of our "oneness"?
          Sometimes,  it's just hard to know where to start. Rev. 2:3-5 talks about rediscovering your first love (who knew the Bible has advice on that??). It says to do what you did at first. When I was first dating Charles, I spent a LOT of time with him. We did things together. I learned what his favorite foods were. I paid attention to anything new on him all the way from clothes to a scratch on his arm. The past couple of weeks, I've tried to look back at our history and learn from it.

          We've both been more intentional about spending time together--like really intentional. We've spent hours talking on the weekends (sometimes with a sitter watching the kids and sometimes before the kids get up) and even started watching a movie on Sunday nights, just the two of us. I feel like I have a best friend again.  We've laughed a lot together and we've even talked through a couple of issues to resolve a thing or two. This is easier to do when you actually talk minus children, who are bound to interrupt every ten seconds. I have no shame in putting on an occasional movie to distract my children from interrupting us.

          Another thing that I've been doing a whole lot more of is praying for my hubby. Last week, he shared about an especially rough day. Instead of just seeing it as "his problem", I spent a day fasting and praying just for him. Even when I'm in a heated conversation,  it's amazing what a quick prayer can do. New ideas pop into my head. It calms me down so that I can communicate better. It's hard to be mad at someone that you're praying for. God always seems to gently point out what I should be doing differently or change altogether. 

            I've also been intentional about what I think about regarding my hubby.  When we were first dating, he had just as many annoying qualities about him, but I never noticed.  I was too focused on all the kind things he did for me and the way he made me feel. Charles has always been a generous man, but I've been dwelling on it a lot more lately. Two weeks ago, I dropped my smart phone, and he didn't even bat an eyelid at the substantial deductible we paid to get a new one. He gave all the girls a single long-stemmed rose for Valentine's Day, but I received two dozen! He wanted me to have enough to put them around the house wherever I wanted.  I put a big bunch next to a purchase of his that had initially annoyed me (just in case I was tempted to think grumpy thoughts). He's not just generous with money though. When it has been wet and slick out, he's left his Suburban to drive, so I can get around safely. (Maybe that is a generous money move considering the damage I've done to the van this winter.) What I've focused on has made me feel a lot happier about our relationship. I've had a new sensation of falling again, but unlike slipping it hasn't hurt. It's familiar...part of my history...I love the feeling of falling in love.

What can you learn from your history?  What do you do to love your marital feelings? I'd love to hear your comments below and learn from you.

To learn more about how other moms are loving their feelings, click here to see other blogs.

Watch Out I'm Going to Puke

           My stomach began churning as I quickly rummaged back and forth between my handfuls of bags, my purse, and my coat pockets. Then I began to panic, whispering, "I probably just put them in my pants pocket for some strange reason." More shuffling of my full arms and more rummaging...my stomach began to hurt even worse. I realized at that moment I had forgetten to "lock the door with the keys". This is the fail safe method to prevent things like this from happening. As I walked around the van, I knew what I'd see. There were the keys sitting in the ignition. I was headed to the train station to pick up my mother-in-law, but I had made a quick stop at Wal-Mart because the train would be thirty minutes late. My mind raced and I had that sick feeling in my stomach deepen, it's worse than the flu for someone like me. I had done something stupid.
           I wish it was an occasional thing, but my flawed humanity gets in the way of perfection day after day. A couple Saturdays ago, I had walked out of my kitchen to give the hens compost scraps. I turned on the stove burner, leaving a timer set for eight minutes...just long enough to get my milk up to 180°F for the yogurt. I had plenty of time...I thought. I came in to see our dog Harley looking back and forth at our flaming hand towel on the stove and me, as if to say, "Ma, this don't smell right!" You guessed it--I had the wrong burner on (this happened to me before with Pyrex). Stupid. My stomach felt like making a deposit that day too. The following day, the fire department visited us when a fierce wind kicked up a burning ember while we were burning trash in a barrel. Fire spreads fast on the prairie, but no real damage happened that day because we made the call as soon as we felt we couldn't control the fire. I could tell something major was wrong when my hubby was yelling "Poop!" in German repeatedly. (What was up with all the fire at our house?!)
           Life makes me feel dumb, and I am forever pointing out mistakes to myself.  I have to be intentional about dwelling on the good stuff too. Both of these things were small things. They were easily fixed by some roadside assistance and a glass of water (respectively...I don't think the water would've helped with the locked van) Then, there are moments when I think about my parenting and really feel tempted to feel sick. Watch out I might just puke. What kind of damage am I doing to my kids each time I yell at them or forget to follow through by picking up the dirty clothes for them? Will they remember our homeschooling years as pure drudgery or remember the fun we had? It's just as important to see when a situation is out of control in our parenting as it is with burning grass. Remember the verse in Proverbs about self-contol being better than conquering a city?
          I'm previewing a book called "No More Perfect Kids", and what I love about it is that it has tools for me to fix what is wrong (along with some pointers on things I should be doing differently). I'm the only one that expects perfection from myself.  Everyone else knows how messed up I am because they are too. Last week, I decided to try a technique the book recommended by having my kids write (or say--for the younger set) 15-20 "I am..." statements.  It a way to assess how negatively or positively they feel about themselves and what is important to them. Honestly,  even doing this scared me a little. Do I really want to know how much I've messed up my kids?? It ended up being very reassuring.  I was amazed by how many positive things they had to say about themselves.  If they hadn't though, wouldn't it be better to know about it now then finding out in thirty years from now when it was affecting their families and marriages?
            Lots of people (including my internal naysayer) can point out what I'm doing wrong, but who will help me fix it? The authors of this book, Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch, want to help you. If you want to get this book (your kids will thank you), please wait till the week of March 14-22. If you do, you'll get a whole bunch of freebies valued at $100. I'll keep giving you some good tid-bits that I'm reading, and you can order "No More Perfect Moms" to read if you missed it. It was released last year and is fabulous as well.
         In the meantime, relax, let go of your hurting stomach, and know that only God is perfect. You can thank God that at least you didn't lock you keys in your van or set your house/yard on fire.

Gluten-Free Humble Cake

          As my new friend drove up to our house for our first playdate,  I was tempted to throw the crumbly failure into the compost bucket and let the chickens enjoy it. What started as a simple attempt to do something kind for a friend that suspected gluten sensitivities threatened to turn into a humiliating moment for me. I am not a master chef or anything,  but I consider myself a decent baker (let's not talk about the time I made the healthiest pumpkin pie ever--I forgot the sugar). I LOVE baking! Just take one look at my flourless chocolate cake, and you can see it was a flop. My nursing-room buddy from church was coming over to our house and had let me know that her daughter was celebrating a birthday. She also shared that they were looking at going gluten-free because of some health issues with her kids. 

           I thought this would be the perfect chance to try a recipe for "Flourless Chocolate Cake". She told me not to go to any trouble; but since Mr. Blue Eyes woke up when it was time to run that morning, I decided to try.  The recipe called for a spring-form pan, but I don't have one. I was inspired in the middle of the night to use my flan pans, and I decided it would be perfect! Surely, it was God who brought this to mind, so I could make the perfect cake to go along with the perfect friendship. I could fill the little well on top with freshly whipped cream and maybe use a cherry or strawberry for garnish. As I scraped the cake out of the cooled flan pan, I remembered something about parchment paper...apparantly it was more important than I remembered. 

          Little Carrie let out an empathetic "Aww!" when she saw how disappointed I was. Then, I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and did something I never do...I tasted my flopped cake attempt. My mom is forever telling me not to worry about what something looks like. She says, "If it tastes good, who cares?" Well, things like my pride do. I tasted a crumb and then another. It tasted really good. Even Carrie and Grace were asking for more. I decided to serve it despite the appearances. 

           I am forever struggling with remembering that my worth is not defined by my performance or my appearnce,  but only by what God thinks of me. If I learned anything from Jill Savage's book "No More Perfect Moms", it was that being real and flawed was the way to a more authentic and happy existence.  It paves the way for others to relax and let go of their "perfection infection" as Jill puts it. (Did you know she is coming out with a new book called "No More Perfect Kids" co-authored by Kathy Koch? Guess who's on the launch team, reading a sneak preview right now??) I'd thought of the book a lot and it's advice on choosing to take the first step towards other moms and being a "there you are person" instead of waiting for someone else to make the first step. Last week, I copied and put all my favorite gluten-free recipes in a binder for my new friend. I've had dear friends in the past who've changed their lifestyles for allergies and sensitivities,  and I've seen how overwhelming it can be to get started. I thought this could help my new friend, but maybe I'd look a little over eager for friendship. I took a chance at looking dumb, and she said she really liked it. She asked Mary if she knew "How cool your mom is?" Thankfully, Mary just smiled instead of contradicting her.

           We had an awesome playdate. Everyone really liked the cake, including the birthday girl (who talked her reluctant little sister into trying some). Click here for the recipe in case you want to try it (and own a spring-form pan). I thought my friend would leave around eleven thirty, but instead we chatted so much that they stayed well past one. I found out that we have lots to talk about, like essential oils and homeschooling.

Maybe God had given me the idea for the flan pan...to give me a slice of humble pie (cake)...and the gift of an authentic friendship. 

What's your favorite gluten-free recipe or web-site? I'd love to pass it on to my friend!